DIY Galaxy Nails.

Seasons greetings!

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays and getting fat. I'm still waiting for a real party invite, why are my friends so uncool? I did have a good day yesterday with my partner and his family and that was fun. But my Christmas hasn't been as lively as I'd hoped. I hope that changes soon.

Alright lets get into it. I have a festive nail DIY today, it's so simple to do and fun. All you need to do is be able to paint your own nails.

Here's the galaxy, our inspiration.

To get started you need a couple of things
Clean filed nails
A small piece of foam.
Base coat; I used Seche Clear
Base Color; I used a Dark blue polish, black will also work
Pink polish
Silver Polish
and some Glitter nail polish.

Step 1: Apply your base coat and base color

Step 2: Apply a very light coat of silver polish on a small patch of your foam and lightly press onto all your nails. Do not reapply on the foam, the idea is for it to be kinda spotty and uneven

Step 3: Repeat step 2 but with pink polish.

Step 4: Finish with a coat or two of your glitter polish.

And we are done! I was surprised by how easy it was. Don't mind all the steps, they go really fast especially as you don't have to be super careful since you aren't painting.

Hope you like and try this out, also if you'd like to see more DIY posts please let me know.

Merry Christmas!

Love always,
Sabirah

Christmas Cheer

Christmas is here! And I'm so excited. I think this is my first real Christmas. For many reasons.
1. I get to spend it with family and friends
2. I finally understand Christmas and the reason for the season
3. I actually have some money and time to do some gifting.





Between last week and now I made some handmade cards for some special people. I worked hard on them and even though they aren't perfect I hope my intentions are clear. Just spreading some love. I'll also be doing some DIY presents which I will be sharing later. Any opportunity to get my hands dirty.



I've also been receiving some presents which is exciting. The above one I got today, the box was so pretty I almost didn't want to open it. I got a really awesome early present from my partner which came as a huge surprise, I'm still grinning since then. The partner and I got a joint present today from a good friend of ours, and it was totally unexpected. Warmed my heart. He's one of our few "true" mutual friends.

While presents are fun, I know that's not what Christmas is all about...
But it's a way to show love and an opportunity for me to create and I'm milking it all the way.

What are your Christmas plans?

Ps when (what day) should presents be given?

Stay safe during this holiday period and remember to show love in anyway you can.

Love always,
Sabirah.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone( I'm just trying this blogging via phone thing, hopefully it will make me more consistent )

Christmas cheer

Christmas is here! And I'm so excited. I think this is my first real Christmas. For many reasons.
1. I get to spend it with family and friends
2. I finally understand Christmas and the reason for the season
3. I actually have some money and time to do some gifting.


Between last week and now I made some handmade cards for some special people. I worked hard on them and even though they aren't perfect I hope my intentions are clear. Just spreading some love. Also doing some DIY presents which I will be sharing later.



I've also been receiving some presents which is exciting. The above one I got today, the box was so pretty I almost didn't want to open it. I got a really awesome early present from my partner which came as a huge surprise, I'm still grinning since then. While presents are fun, I know that's not what Christmas is all about...
But it's a way to show love and an opportunity for me to create and I'm milking it all the way.

What are your Christmas plans?

Ps when (what day) should presents be given?

Stay safe during this holiday period and remember to show love in anyway you can.

Love always,
Sabirah.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone( I'm just trying this blogging via phone thing, hopefully it will make me more consistent )

Tough

Three weeks ago it was our anniversary and the Thursday night before, I had a conversation with my friend Simi - big shout out to her by the way, she's really special. It went thus:

Me: It's our(my partner and I) anniversary tomorrow, 2years.
Simi: Oh wow,  it's been two years already? How has it been?
Me: Tough
Simi: Oh, errr is that good?
Me: Yes, very good, in a weird way

Tough is probably not the most romantic way to describe a relationship but I was just being honest. It was one of those moments where I really considered the question and thought about it before I answered. My answer surprised even me, but as I've thought more about it, I'm sticking to it. Tough.

Before
Some background is necessary here. In the past I've always been the "good" person (well except for that one time where I really fucked up). So yeah, I've always been the good girlfriend, playing my role, being supportive or whatever was needed. As a result I was always being apologized to, always doing the forgiving. And I should add that for those relationships, this worked.

Temperament
I can be a pacifist. I detest confrontations and conflict and I'll shy away from it as long as I can. Of course this isn't always a good thing. Can lead to passive-aggressiveness, bottling up issues that need to be discussed and giving one a false sense of righteousness. So while this had previously been OK in my past relationship, it was a disaster for this one

Fighting Fair.
I never learnt how to fight fair, because I was so used to avoiding confrontations, when they did roll around, I shut everything out. Picture this:

Him: Sabirah, you really shouldn't have done that, it made me feel... and.... and.... I would prefer... in the future.
Me: OK, Sorry.
The end.

To me "Sorry" was the balm that fixed all, it made all the fighting stop (not really). Sorry allowed me to close up the topic and move on (or brood). I would feel I had done my part and expect all the negative energy to float away... and when they didn't I would pout. Bring on Fight round two...

It just seemed like we were always fighting. A few times I found myself wondering, "...maybe we just aren't meant for each other, is it really supposed to be this difficult?" I would cry and still not open up which I can imagine left my partner frustrated. One vicious cycle.

Now
We have gotten out of that crazy loop, and boy am I glad? Somehow we stuck it through and realised we both had work to do. Sometimes someone that loves you will uncover some ugly parts of you and you have to be OK with that. It's painful, grueling but in the end you come out a better version of you. Iron sharpens iron?

I leave you with this excerpt of a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life..."

P.s. An old post on soulmates
p.p.s Sorry I've been away so long... you know life? Hope all is well

Happy Holidays!
Love, Sab.

God loves your Fabulousity!

About a week ago a friend of mine visited her old work place, when she got there she saw a former colleague and was shocked by her appearance. She looked drawn, sick, and bland, like someone whose life had been sucked out. Someone who had formerly taken joy in wearing makeup, nice clothes and generally looking and feeling good now looked like a shadow of herself. In a later conversation she found out that the woman in question had “given her life to Christ” and that was the reason for her new appearance.

When I heard this story I was deeply saddened, my friend who was just generally giving me “gist” was surprised by how personal I seemed to be taking the whole story, but I couldn't help it. All I could imagine was that if these were the kind of examples I had seen when I embarked on my spiritual journey I would probably have just jumped ship.

I remember tweeting a long time ago “A long time ago, someone lied to me about God, I’m still trying to fix it.” I still find this true today. Here are some things I know for sure- God doesn't want you to stop being YOU. He wants us to have joy in our lives, to live full lives, lives that are abundant in love, kindness and happiness. God cares so little about our outward appearance; he cares that we love him and others.

 All those little quirks about you, your funky fashion, your crazy hair, your several colors of nail polish, your explosive laughter- they make you special and as long as what is inside you is good character – love and kindness; God doesn't care if you dye your hair blue. So you can understand why I was so sad to hear about this lady who stripped herself, of herself in the name of “God” , I just hope her character was given an overhaul too- otherwise it was all for nothing.

I'm not saying your belief shouldn't have an effect on your outward appearance- depending on who you are it might- what I'm saying is that the inner work should begin first and be focused on more, then it may now start reflecting on the outside.

God has given us the gift of life and we better enjoy living it.
(I rarely talk about my spirituality as it's a deeply personal journey for me so I ask that whatever your beliefs are you keep your comments polite. Thank you for keeping this a safe space)

Love always,

Sabirah.

Hey! I want to marry my best friend too!

So you can blame this post on Bellanaija weddings, recently saw a post that was oozing love! The husband mentioned several times that he was so happy and lucky to have married his best friend and I thought huh, I want that...

Here's the thing, when I started dating my partner, it was a very short moment of friendship, just so happened that we both wanted something more, and jumped right into it. We started off really as partners, in fact we ran into some problems later when we discovered that we really had to build a solid friendship in addition to our romantic relationship. And while I can confidently say we are good friends now, I can't say he is my best friend.

Looking at the relationships I have with those I call my best friends, I can say they are made up of a mix of many different things; A shared history, mutual trust, love, similar interests, memories and a looooot of time. Of course some of these factors are dependent on one another, I mean you can't really create a shared history if you haven't had a lot of time to do it...

So I'm asking, how important is it for your partner to be your "Best friend"? What does that even mean? Is it just another label? Can it be cultivated? If yes, what are the secret ingredients?- I'm thinking time and patience, at least that's what we are working with ;)


Share your thoughts!

Love always,
Sabirah :)

9 p.m.

It's 9 p.m. and my brother has just fallen asleep on my lap, we were watching the good wife  together till the sound of his soft snoring interrupted. I lightly touched his face, his jaw-line and his chin where soft tufts of hair were starting to grow. I love this kid, boy, almost-man. This moment reminds me of when he was first born, I couldn't get over how fast and how much he slept. I feel protective of him in this moment, like I somehow want to teach him everything I know without telling him explicitly, because he would be too proud to listen.

In this same moment, I feel a pang of pain, I'm often mean to him. Yesterday I said some harsh things, over something petty, like cleaning up after himself. I can't help it, we are different but also so similar. I want to control him, but just so I can protect him from what's ahead, but he wont have anything of it; again, pride. He is growing, forming his own ideas, having opinions, talking back. And I am here, helpless, bickering, yelling and being the older sister, essentially baiting. I want to be better. To be mature.

But I'm realizing something, I seem to be most unkind to those I love.
Is this normal?
Or are we just most critical of those we love...
Or maybe we spend so much time with them and they see us for who we truly are?
Or maybe...
I don't know, what do you think?

Love always,
Sabirah.

Hey, 24 looks good on you

Good morning! It is the Sunday after my birthday and I'm feeling good :) Thanks to everyone who sent some love my way.

I woke up to my mum rubbing my back and whispering prayers into my ear and I promise you, that's one of the best things in this world. My day was very chill, I was home with my family and partner and we just ate and watched multiple episodes of "The Good Wife" - yooooo how come no one told me about this show? I love it-. I was pretty upbeat in the morning enjoying the phone calls and just relaxing... then power went out...

The calls kept coming in and my mood started to drop, everybody kept asking "Where the party at" "Where is the cake?" "Is there rice at your house?" As soon as the pattern became clear I began discouraging people from coming over because I really hadn't made any plans.

I realized in Nigeria, your birthday is not a day for you to be showered with presents and goodwill. It's a day for you to celebrate (AKA show your friends and family a good time) and entertain. In fact, saying you didn't have anything planned meant that though you might not be bringing out the champagne, there would be rice and chicken and small chops for anyone who stopped by.

I guess we live and learn, later that evening my partner took me out to dinner at La Mango in GRA Ikeja, I had read about it on the lovely Kene's blog, post here (it was a great review, go have a look, I love her blog!) and I wanted to check it out.

 Obligatory silly picture, because we are like that

 We opted for the Thai menu, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much they had to offer.

 Sorry I only remembered to take a photo of our appetizers after we had finished eating them, hey, we were hungry and they were yummy.

 The strobe lighting was really distracting, in fact we had to ask them to turn off the one beside me. Also they were playing really loud Nigerian dance music and we could barely talk and eat. Next time I go there will definitely be in the daytime.

 Hey! A for presentation (minus those straggly lettuce leaves), Pineapple fried rice

 Seafood stir fry

 Pad Thai

 Prawn yellow curry

The food was tasty, really flavorful and all but it just didnt have that authentic Thai taste I love, I will visit the restaurant again, but opt for a different place if I'm craving Thai.

So all in all it was a good day, thankful for another year. Hey, 24 looks good on me!

Love always,

Sabirah!

Birthday Blues!

Hurraaaay it's August!

(source)

And it's my birthday in a few days, Saturday to be precise, and I've got the birthday blues. I don't know, I'm just not excited and I usually am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful for my life and God's grace. Very very thankful. 

This is the first birthday I'll be spending with my family in over 7years. All the past years whether I had a quiet birthday or a gathering, I always planned it myself since I lived on my own, now that I'm with family, I was kinda expecting something but it doesn't look promising. lol. I know i'll still have a good day regardless of what happens, but right now I feel so bleh.

Also ASOS cancelled my order for no damn reason (first time ordering anything from Nigeria >_<) so my birthday present to myself is no longer existent. Sigh. There are so many major things I'm praying for and expectant of that I guess it's weighing down  my excitement a bit.

I hope I snap out of it by tomorrow.

Love,

Sab.

Miss Sabirah!

Friday was the last day of the school year and phew, what an experience! I started this job in January, doe-eyed, expectant, scared but also very excited. It wasn't my first teaching position, but first "real" one in many ways. I wasn't volunteering, it was (is) a full time position, and I was in charge of one class. My own class, my own kids, my rules. It was scary- no thrilling is the word.

It started off bumpy, it almost felt like the children were deliberately testing me and I lost it a couple of times. But over time we built trust and established our relationships; Teacher-mom(this one always freaks me out, been called mommy by accident a couple of times)-sister- and most importantly friend.

My students became some of my strongest allies while I was still navigating the school and getting my bearings. You find friends in the unlikeliest places...

Boy did I learn a lot these past six months!  Re-evaluated my choices a few times, but as each day went by I became more confident. I realized that it's one thing to enjoy something and another to be good at it. I am a good teacher and I'm on my way to being an excellent one. I'm really grateful to have been put under the watch of the best mentor ever. She is, and was everything and I'm really going to miss her next year. 

In September I will be starting with a new class, I got the graduating class again and I can only say cheers to the next school year, I look forward to and even better one, and more opportunities for growth in this journey!

Here's to my vacation! :D

As always,
Love,
Sabirah.

Liebester award!

1. Thank the blogger that nominated you

    Done!

2. List 11 random facts about yourself

• I got a stuffed Llama and baby elephant from my partner last week, I love them!
• They are called Obama and Amira
• I love painting my nails
• I dont wear watches to know the time, they are just another accessory to me
• I like to wave at random people in traffic
• My favorite ice-cream is chocolate-chip cookie dough- most times
• I loooove tea
• I believe in unicorns, I'm kidding, ok not really
• Mermaids freak me out! ugh
• I can cry on demand
• I love cheesy chick-flick movies, but detest chick-lit.
• I have no desire to visit Paris

3. Answer the questions the person who nominated you asked
 If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Eggs- scrambled, sunny side up, stewed etc. lol with a side of course
Who's your celebrity crush?
Ermmmm Maxwell? Prince? I think
Are you happy with your current spiritual life?
Meh
What's one of your biggest beauty secrets?
Water!
Have you ever dated someone outside of your race? Be specific:)
Yes, twice. Both white.
What are your top 3 favorite movies?
eiissshhhh this is hard; 500 days of summer, Despicable me, Vicky Christina Barcelona (this is all I can remember right now. lol)
What's your favorite book of all time?
Ermmm I definitely do not have one. Love waay too many lol
Which places do you want to visit in your lifetime?
Ghana, Kenya, Mali, China, Japan, and Boston, USA lol
If you could have a conversation with one deceased person, who would it be and why?
I don't have anyone
Does your job feel like pleasure or pain?
Pleasure!
What's your favorite part about blogging?
Having a safe space to be truly myself


Thank you Ada in Progress for nominating me!

The3six5ng

Hey loves,

I wrote a post for the3six5ng...

“Miss Sabirah!!”

I look up from my book and I know immediately that my day has started.  I’m sitting at my work desk which I plan everyday to unclutter, and never do – a wild sea of glue sticks, pencils, erasers and scissors.

“Are you ever going to finish that book” a particularly pesky student of mine asks, I do my best to conceal my irritation since he has asked me this question a hundred times before.

“It’s a really good book so I’m trying to savor every little detail” I reply with a smile

“What is the meaning of savor?” he asks, this time I can’t hide it, and I roll my eyes.

“Darling, what do we do when we don’t know the meaning of words?”

Read More

Go read the rest of my post, read about this cool project and leave a comment :)

Have a great day!
Love Always,
Sabirah.

Falling in love is the easy part.

I had the most interesting dream Saturday night, it was extremely detailed unlike most of my dreams and weird like dreams usually are.

Here's the short form; I met the author of the book I'm reading currently, he came to volunteer in the pre-nursery class of the school I teach at. Somehow we fell in love, and against all odds decided to be together. He was 53. lol. Anyway, in my dream I was telling one of my students (who now happened to be my friend and agemate) that "this is perfect love!" and I was sooo happy. In fact I woke up elated.

When I woke up, I told my mum about the dream, we talked about love and all it's presentations and we came to the conclusion that "Falling in love is the easy part". The love of my dream was perfect, we had the same feelings for each other at the same time, knew that we wanted each other and everything just clicked, I couldn't help but wonder if love exists in that form outside dreams. I doubt it.

Not to say that real life love isn't sweet and all that, I can testify ;)!

But there's work, lots of it.

Just wanted to share my random dream and musings with you all.
Hope everyone is good!
Summer holidays from work in 11 days! whoop AKA more blogging and living

Love always,
Sabirah.

How much of yourself do you bring?

How much of yourself do you bring with you when you read a book?
How does who you are, your values and experience, affect the way you experience a book?
How you be "totally objective" when reading a book

These were some of the thoughts that raced through my mind as I read Chimamanda's latest book and the reviews. This post isn't about what a great book (or not) "Americanah" is, but I do want to say I really enjoyed it and even before I read it I knew I would.

Hair, Race, Love via social commentary- it was like an early Christmas present for me but I couldn't help but wonder though how a person who hadn't had the same experiences would view it. A lot of the experiences and blog posts on being Black in America were things I had experienced firsthand and there's nothing quite like seeing "you" in a book. That being said though I did enjoy the book even in parts I couldn't relate with.

I think who you are definitely shapes your understanding of a book and the closer the subject matter is to you the harder it is to remain objective about the ideas presented.

One of the reasons I prefer books to film, is that books allow you to bring much more of yourself to the experience. They allow you to create images, expressions, extension of characters and even projections ( A lot of people say Americanah was rushed at the end or ended badly- whether or not this is the case, I do like being allowed to wonder or decide what happened finally). It's not to say films are bland, I just think they leave only a little to imagine.

Have you ever revisited a book you read before? I had a professor who would say "Just like you can't stand in the same river twice (water is always flowing), you can't read the same book twice)" I love and held on to that quote because it rang so true for me. We are constantly learning and changing and that affects the way we see the world in general and that surely affects our reading. I read "Things fall apart" 3 separate times within 5 years and always found something new or understood something better or differently, it's amazing. I do it for especially hard books or books I didn't enjoy on my first read, you should try it.

So what do you think? answers to the first questions?
Contributions are welcome.

PS- I've missed this space, which includes you reading, glad to be blogging again.

Love Always,
Sab.

"Fine Boys", an excerpt and a blurb

"Fine Boys" by Eghosa Imasuen is my most recent read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's set in Warri and Benin, (places I've never visited) and it gave many glimpses into what life in those cities was like. I also love the political backdrop of the novel. 

This isn't a review so I'm not going to get into the novel too much. I highly recommend it - there that's my review! There were a couple of interesting relationships in the book that made me think, here are some excerpts-

"This was pleasant. It was not painful, not like with Tseye; there was nothing tugging at my chest. Nothing that made me feel like I was being gutted by the devil when I did not see Amide. She exuded confidence, and it was contagious. She was comfortable with her feelings for me. She had already had already said she was not sure it was love. But she was happy with whatever we called it, and so was I."

 Above is the main character talking  about his relationship with his girlfriend

. 

 "Mom reached to him and patted his hand. He looked at her. At that moment, I understood. They loved each other. Their love was like the cigarettes I smoked. They were bad for you; they caused you pain. But you could not live without them."

 The main character  talking about his parent's abusive relationship

These excerpts jumped out me because they both imply that sometimes love is painful. I don't know how I feel about that but I don't think love should hurt (I get that it can hurt sometimes, but it shouldn't be regular no?).

The other thing I noticed was in the first excerpt, would you call that love? I think it's OK for a relationship to be easy, it doesn't have to be the "fire burning passionate" type love right?

Don't want to say too much...

So over to you, what do you feel about the above excerpts? Agree? Disagree? Why?

Love always,

Sabirah

Afropolitan Vibes

Last week Friday was just my kind of Friday. Good people, Live music and serious dancing. Everyone knows I'm an Afrobeat girl, so when I heard that Ade Bantu was going to be at freedom park I knew I had to be there. And I did not regret it. I was lucky to be in the company of two wonderful ladies; Tobi and Francesca and we danced the night away. Hopefully you can get a sense of our evening from the pictures.

Ade Bantu is an amazing performer and he knows how to get the party started, I loved the energy that night at freedom park and I'll definitely be going to more concerts in the park.

Love and Afrobeat,
Sabirah