On Maintaining Relationships.

Over the last 2 days I've emailed 6 friends, Called 2, texted 5, emailed 3 former employers, sent a card to an old colleague, called an aunt and emailed 2 cousins and one professor; This list doesn't include the friends I talk to every couple of days via bbm, phone or text. And I still have people I need to contact

How do I deal?

Over the last year between graduating, going to Italy -> California -> Lagos and now back to California, I feel like I've left a string of relationships all over the place. Relationships I can't seem to properly manage. For example, my college friends who I love so dearly; these people were the ones I cried to when I slaved all week on a paper and still got a B, or when that relationship ended. They were the ones I cooked for every weekend, the ones who stayed with me the thanksgiving I had nowhere to go...

How about my former employers? The ones who gave me an opportunity, and taught me, corrected me and encouraged me, the ones who still agree to be my references? Or cousins, who I have lost touch with but still share about 12% of my DNA. Or friends who may not be so close but I still know I will cry at their weddings and still stay on the phone with them for three hours when they need to cry.

Or my new friends who I've know only a short while but it seems like an eternity... The list is endless, these relationships may not be my closest, as close as before or geographically close but all these people mean something to me and are an important part of my existence.

My question is how do you manage? I know at some point in my life I was on top of it, monthly check-in's for some, bi-weekly check-ins for others and for some just a "hello hope you're well" once every 6 months and a "happy birthday, God bless you" once every year. But somehow I lost it, and I don't know how to get it back. I know that saying "20 friends cannot play together for 20 years", and I understand it. This isn't a matter of "friendship". From casual acquaintances to work networks... These are relationships I don't want to just fizz out, some will I understand, but I want to do my part to make sure some don't.

And I'm drowning.

Help.

Dream Jobs, contests and more dreams

Hi!

Wow! Overwhelming response on my last post, I was pleasantly surprised and had no idea it would touch so many people. I'm truly grateful for everyone who read it, thought it was good enough to share and passed it on. Thank you, It means a lot.

So today's business! I saw this amazing contest on Modcloth and I just had to enter, I'm not really big on contests but this one looked like so much fun, and I already have and love Pinterest so I thought why not?

So I set about creating a board that reflected my dream job... Only problem was, I don't really have one, I was only stuck for a few moments and while thinking about it I tweeted this- "Still don't know what my dream job is or if it exists, but I know the random mish mash of things that make me happy and that's OK :)” This comforted me while I tried to figure out what to put up.

I know that I'm highly creative, I know that I'm a helper, I love to learn and I love the study of the human mind. I know that I'd like to make a difference where it matters. Under these broad descriptions I could do a variety of things and I'm sure I have so much more to explore. I also know that it's important you do something you enjoy and are good at. While the idea of not having a box to place myself in scares me a bit, it also greatly excites me.

For the competition I narrowed it down to teaching and being the creative director for my brand Natural Saturdays. It was so much fun creating the board just as I expected. What I didn't expect was all the reflection it made me do. I'm glad. I keep getting inspired by the oddest things!

Here's a snapshot of my entry

If you'd like to see the pictures in higher quality and read my reflections (blurbs) on my "dream job" you can view the full entry here

So do you have a job/career suggestion for me?

How about you? Do you have a dream job?

Tell me in the comments even if it's "silly"

Love,

Sabirah.

This teaching thing (part 2)

I've talked about me teaching here before so if you haven't read that post I encourage you to.

My experience with teaching has been bitter-sweet. If you follow my tweets you probably noticed that during the school term I tweeted about my students a lot. They made me happy, angry, frustrated excited and on two separate occasions they made me cry.  I love giving them hugs (finally got used to it) and their constant washing  compliments "Miss Sabirah you are so beautiful, we love your earrings".

Unfortunately teaching isn't just about the students, it's about the organization, bureaucracy, politics and power struggles, and a heavy dose of ass kissing. Now a lot of people know the school I worked at but please this is not a direct jab at them, I'm thankful for the opportunity they gave me. I have had the experience of teaching at other schools so I'm being honest about the system in general.

Among the very many reasons I decided I wanted to teach was that I'm a creative person, I love trying new things, working on fresh ideas and putting a spin on old things, it reflects in almost all the things I do in my life. My belief was that teaching would be another outlet for my creative energy since I was beginning to feel stifled in Lagos. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, before I got hired, I was asked what I could change and what kind of ideas I would bring to the school. I gave a few examples in the interview and got really excited, when the time came to implement them it was just obstacle upon obstacle. It quickly became frustrating.

Then there was this communication gap between the administration and the teaching staff, we (they) were overworked (this left me being a substitute teacher for classes I wasn't prepared for) and their ideas or recommendations didn't seem attended to or even valued. It was weird in my position because since I was new I had good relations with the admin but then I felt like I had to pick a side. A school is an organization where everybody HAS to be working together. When communication is strained things start to fall apart, dissatisfaction seeps in and productivity diminishes no?

Of course all of this going on makes it difficult to work, some days it just became a drag on others a power struggle. Let me say though that the students got excellent grades and won competitions constantly. So maybe all this was just a means to an end. I don't know. I just wish it was different. A lot of things I ran away from in the corporate work place just came to meet me here. Teaching at the public school was different because since I was volunteering my time I had a lot of freedom. and ohh the things I accomplished. Truly thankful for that experience and for this one too. Everything is a learning experience and i'm grateful for that.

Quite a bit has changed and I will give updates at my own pace of course.

Till then,
Happy Holidays.
Sabirah.

Thursday Tidbits

Hello! Happy Thursday!

1. I didn't do anything today. I just walked around in a tee and boy-shorts, ate and slept. It felt awesome.
2. I miss baking! Need to fix the oven!! I need to cook more!
3. The partner and I are starting the insanity workout program, I think on monday, I'm not gonna lie I'm scared but I'm glad I have a partner. We are trying to be toned although he has a pretty great body.
4. I love my new teaching Job.
5. But we have a dress code, no pants! can you believe that :( and a color code too! Monday- white, Tuesday-blue, Thursday- Lilac. The rest are free days. This means i have to buy new clothes. Shopping in Lagos on a limited budget is tedious.
6. I want an iPhone, cos i think instagram is cool, but it's like number 456 on my want list
7. I'm excited about valentines day! :D did I say this in my last post?
8. The partner has been gone for 4 days. I miss him terribly :(
9. He comes back tonight ^_^

Love,

Sab