On Maintaining Relationships.

Over the last 2 days I've emailed 6 friends, Called 2, texted 5, emailed 3 former employers, sent a card to an old colleague, called an aunt and emailed 2 cousins and one professor; This list doesn't include the friends I talk to every couple of days via bbm, phone or text. And I still have people I need to contact

How do I deal?

Over the last year between graduating, going to Italy -> California -> Lagos and now back to California, I feel like I've left a string of relationships all over the place. Relationships I can't seem to properly manage. For example, my college friends who I love so dearly; these people were the ones I cried to when I slaved all week on a paper and still got a B, or when that relationship ended. They were the ones I cooked for every weekend, the ones who stayed with me the thanksgiving I had nowhere to go...

How about my former employers? The ones who gave me an opportunity, and taught me, corrected me and encouraged me, the ones who still agree to be my references? Or cousins, who I have lost touch with but still share about 12% of my DNA. Or friends who may not be so close but I still know I will cry at their weddings and still stay on the phone with them for three hours when they need to cry.

Or my new friends who I've know only a short while but it seems like an eternity... The list is endless, these relationships may not be my closest, as close as before or geographically close but all these people mean something to me and are an important part of my existence.

My question is how do you manage? I know at some point in my life I was on top of it, monthly check-in's for some, bi-weekly check-ins for others and for some just a "hello hope you're well" once every 6 months and a "happy birthday, God bless you" once every year. But somehow I lost it, and I don't know how to get it back. I know that saying "20 friends cannot play together for 20 years", and I understand it. This isn't a matter of "friendship". From casual acquaintances to work networks... These are relationships I don't want to just fizz out, some will I understand, but I want to do my part to make sure some don't.

And I'm drowning.

Help.

Happiness and Some changes...

So I'm in California again! Surprise, well not so surprising for some people, but yeah yaay! I'm here. I really didn't want to make a big fuss about it because it was a difficult decision but yeah I'm here and it's OK. I'm taking some courses in psychology that will help with my applications to grad school because I've been thinking about it again. I'm so confused. Some random lady told me that your 20's are the best time of your life... If so it needs to get better really quickly.

The first thing everyone says when I tell them I'm in California is "What about the partner" Lol. And I reply "Yeah what about him" aka we're good. Of course going from living 10mins away to 10,000 kilometers (almost) (catchy name for a book eh? don't steal it! :p) away is not a piece of cake but you gotta do what you gotta do right?

My happiness has been fleeting the past couple of weeks and I've been going through terrible bouts of sadness. I miss home so much, I miss my mom, dad and brother (I left the day after he returned from school :( ) I miss my friends the partner inclusive and I feel terribly lonely. I miss Lagos hustle and bustle, I miss my students and I just don't really want to be here right now. I'm a generally happy person as you probably know so feeling this way has really left me unsettled and it takes a conscious effort to look on the brighter side.

And there is a lot of "the brighter side" like having fast internet, and 24hour electricity and dependable public transportation lol (the little things) or the big things like being privileged to have parents who care for you and support you -friends too, having a roof over your head and great health, being able to sit in a classroom and learn and be inspired all over again (this is a wonderful thing- I love my classes). So yes there is so much to be thankful for, I'm aware, but it's still been a struggle to be happy.

One of my classes is titled "Psychology of Adjustment" How apt right? I'm learning a great deal about myself and my personality and maintaining a balance. It's been really helpful. I will probably share some info in my next post. I've been trying the to do the things that make me happy like exploring my favorite city San Francisco- went there yesterday and I felt a whole lot better- And trying not to brood or wallow in self pity. I definitely feel better already.

As always I'm thankful for this space, the people that read and respect it, it is my safe place so thank you.
Have a great week ahead,
Love, Sabirah

So I moved...

Hello anyone here?

You may or not already know but I moved to Nigeria about two months ago.... And it's been fantastic, hectic and crazy but I love it, in fact I wonder why I didn't make the decision earlier. There's much to say and write about, dating, working, adapting, re-connecting. I'm not quite sure where to begin.

I guess this is my way of breaking the silence, letting you (whoever you are) know that i'm alive and well and I will resume posting here now that I have stable internet. Unfortunately I have to go now as the power is off (Welcome to Nigeria) and I absolutely hate the sound of generators especially in the mornings. Here is to resumed regular posting!

Cheers!
Love and Happiness
Sabirah.