"Fine Boys" by Eghosa Imasuen is my most recent read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's set in Warri and Benin, (places I've never visited) and it gave many glimpses into what life in those cities was like. I also love the political backdrop of the novel.
This isn't a review so I'm not going to get into the novel too much. I highly recommend it - there that's my review! There were a couple of interesting relationships in the book that made me think, here are some excerpts-
"This was pleasant. It was not painful, not like with Tseye; there was nothing tugging at my chest. Nothing that made me feel like I was being gutted by the devil when I did not see Amide. She exuded confidence, and it was contagious. She was comfortable with her feelings for me. She had already had already said she was not sure it was love. But she was happy with whatever we called it, and so was I."
Above is the main character talking about his relationship with his girlfriend
.
"Mom reached to him and patted his hand. He looked at her. At that moment, I understood. They loved each other. Their love was like the cigarettes I smoked. They were bad for you; they caused you pain. But you could not live without them."
The main character talking about his parent's abusive relationship
These excerpts jumped out me because they both imply that sometimes love is painful. I don't know how I feel about that but I don't think love should hurt (I get that it can hurt sometimes, but it shouldn't be regular no?).
The other thing I noticed was in the first excerpt, would you call that love? I think it's OK for a relationship to be easy, it doesn't have to be the "fire burning passionate" type love right?
Don't want to say too much...
So over to you, what do you feel about the above excerpts? Agree? Disagree? Why?
Love always,
Sabirah
I love the first excerpt. I think it's love! If you can get your had on Adrian Rogers CD/Preaching about Love and What it is based on the bible. That would be awesome. He basically talks about how love is NOT a burning passion, it's not a feeling, it's not an emotion. Love is a choice that might result in an emotion. He says this because the bible commands us to love, it commands husbands to love their wives and you cannot command a feeling. So love is about choice and actions.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to look for that CD thank you!
DeleteI love that last line about choice and actions
I don't think I'm very well equipped to talk about love because I don't think I really know what it is. Notwithstanding, I will place more importance on trust, being happy, and been there for the significant other over love, but then maybe the mixture of all the right ingredients is love.
ReplyDeleteNow getting to the paragraphs. I won't want to think love will cause you constant pain, or that it is really bad for you, because if it is a mixture of all the right things then how can it be bad for you?
Media and romance novels have probably given us a wrong idea of what love should feel like, if it is right then it should be easy, all that tugging at your chest would give you a heart attack.
I agree about media influence! thanks for sharing
DeleteI don't think I know what love is but it isn't exactly accurate to say the media is responsible for passionate representation of love.
ReplyDeleteRomeo & Juliet and a lot of other works of Shakespeare- we also have the relationship between Collette and Marius in Les Mis. It's not today that people started thinking love is a burning emotion.
I don't know, I guess love can be a mix of different things. At some points it's burning emotion, at some point it could be pain (not more often than not) at other points, just plain old friendship and compatibility and happiness to be dependent on each other.
Relationships are different. I just feel whatever your definition of love, just be with someone that shares the same understanding. Deciding to commit may be enough for someone, but if your partner is looking for an unexplainable connection along with the commitment- it's easy to see that you aren't going to be on the same page.
I think that shakespeare and any kind of early lit can still be considered media though, since they are still passing on information till today.
DeleteI like your second point a lot! it can definitely be many things even within a single couple; for example they might have that burning passion in their youth and then just compatibility with old age.
and yes to being with someone that shares your understanding! very important.
Thanks for adding your voice to the convo!
Hi Sabirah,this seemed like the most appropriate place to leave this comment.
ReplyDeleteIn my last post I jasked if people were interested in a virtual book club, maybe beginning with Americanah. And then I read on twitter that you had the same idea. My account is protected (@eefa2) so I couldn't reply you, but I would definitely be up for that. I know a few other people who might be too.
It would be nice to have a potentially safe space to review books and talk about issues arising, let me know.
seems interesting, I'll have to check it out. On a side note, I nominated you for a liebster award:)
ReplyDeletehttp://adainprogress.blogspot.com/2013/05/liebster-award.html