You Should Keep a Journal...

Hey Everyone,

Hope your week got off to a good start. I'm always talking to people about writing in a Journal and all the amazing benefits, I thought I'd share with you my top 12. If you know someone who is "stuck" or needs to find their "happy" again please share. :)

1. Personal development and Awareness : Writing in a journal can really help you grow as a person. How can you become a better person if you don't know who you are? how can you change if you don't love yourself? I believe keeping a journal can really open yourself up to you.
2. Remember: Sorry to break it to you guys but your memory is not a video recorder, in fact just a while after that amazing experience you will begin to loose little details and soon all you'll remember is how great you felt- which is OK but- Imagine being a able to go back and read it all, or share it with someone? While I was in Italy I wrote in my journal so much and I'm happy I did. I have about 3pages describing the flavor of a certain gelato- Yes that good.
3. Goal Setting: It is said that "A goal not written down is just a wish" Writing down your goal is actually proven to make you more likely to achieve them (sorry I can't pull up the study, what is this psych 191? :p). Anyways write your goals down, track them, plan! achieve! 
4. Perspective: Sometimes ( A lot of the time) We have to step back and evaluate a situation, unfortunately our heads will mix our evaluations with feelings and "butt-hurt-ness" and writing it out in your journal can help you see it from a different perspective maybe when the emotions are less intense. 
5. Safe Space: The world can be a harsh place, and sometimes even our friends and family "just don't get it" A journal can serve as that safe space to vent, to confess or just let it all out. Quiet time with yourself and even God too. Writing definitely soothes the soul.
6. Improve your relationship with yourself and others: For some people it's easy to describe feelings, or maybe we just learnt early on. Some feelings are also easier than others, for me when I feel undervalued it first looks like fear, but I try to take some time to Journal about it and understand it and if it involves another person, explain it them after.
7. Focus:I'm constantly day dreaming and usually have 101 fun ideas or things I want to do floating at the same time in my head. It can get pretty chaotic up here and hard to get a clear focus on a central idea, so I write it down. Sometimes if I can't put it into words I'll just doodle it- I love doodling!
8. Reflect and Measure progress: I love going back to read things I wrote, I can see distinct areas of growth and sometimes areas that may need some work still. It's amazing.
9. Gratitude Attitude: Nothing like being grateful to lift your spirits, some of my journal entries are just long "Thank you's. When I read some problems I wrote about previously I write again on how thankful I am they got resolved.
10. Problem solving: I love to make lists of pros and cons in my journal, also "the worst possible outcome" of taking certain decisions. When I write them down I can see how silly my fears are or If I really should hold back.
11. Peace: Sometimes even if there isn't an immediate solution to a problem, I write it in my journal and just let it go for that moment. I also forgive people a lot in my journal. And that overwhelming feeling of peace is just blissful.
12. Happiness: Since keeping a journal I've learnt so much about who I am and as a result I am happier. I know the things that bring me the most joy and I'm taking steps to pursue them. No matter what stage you are in life you can benefit from some more happiness :). Your well being will affect those around you for the better too!

Whoooosh I didn't intend for this post to be this long and if you stuck around to the end I hope you gained something. Of course you don't have to journal everyday, I haven't journalled in a while myself so this post is kind of a reminder to myself. I know people that use their phones to journal, have a private/public blog, (this blog is kinda my semi-journal lol) but I like paper and pen. Quiet time :)

Have a great day/ evening everyone!

Love always,
Sabirah.

31 Day Reset - Day 29

Create a bucket list
If I had 6 months to live... all the things I'd like to do, see or accomplish.

Erm If I had six months to live I'd eat really good cake everyday. OK i'm kidding. not really.

1. Visit every state and tourist attraction in Nigeria
2. Be completely fluent in Italian
3. Go skydiving
4. Learn to swim X_X
5. re-learn how to ride a bike
6. Dye my hair red
7. Visit India
8. Have a one on one Jam session with Nneka
9. Get pregnant  Ooops they said six months :s
10. Learn the tango
11. Throw my mom a surprise party
12. Go on a family vacation
13. Explore California with the partner
14. Make something special for everyone I love
15. Act in a movie/stage play
16. Run a marathon
17. Have a family portrait done
18. ...

OK here's the deal, not sure where this list is going, but to be really honest If I had only 6months to live I wouldn't be running around the world trying to finish a bucket list, I'd be at home with the people that matter, doesn't mean I won't have fun, but that's where i'm happiest and every moment is precious.

Love always,

Sabirah

31 day reset- Day 17

Today's task. 100 things that make me happy!!Whoop. fun fun fun. That was the whole purpose of this blog so here we go. In no particular order.

1. Family
2. Close Friends
3. Yoga
4. Exercising
5. Eating great food
6. Cooking great food for myself and others
7. The partner
8. Posting on this blog
9. travelling 
10. Exploring new things
11. Pretty stationery - Cards and note cards especially blank ones
12. crafting - Making things with my hands- Soap, headbands, earrings, cards
13. DMCs - Deep Meaningful conversations
14. Candles
15. Flowers that don't make me sneeze
16. Neo Soul music
17. Afrobeat
18. Karaoke
19. Hosting brunches
20. Playing Taboo
21. Playing "concentration"
22. Sweet cocktails
23. Dressing up
24. Natural hair
25. Afros!!
26. Watching movies based on old english novels- Pride and prejudice, Jane Eyre etc
27. Spending the day at the beach
28. Day trips
29. Photography
30. Going to museums
31. My Leather journal
32. Spending time with loved ones
33. Salads
34. Home
35. Giving gifts
36. Receiving gifts
37. Taking long baths
38. washing my hair
39. Drinking tea
40. Dancing
41. volunteering
42. Smell of pastry
43. Books- real books made with paper
44. The smell of old books
45. Music from Baba himself, Anikulapo!
46. My daddy's singing
47. My mom's laugh
48. My brother's jokes
49. Jewellery
50. Thrift stores
51. Pretty bras that fit
52. sexy undergarments
53. Lipstick
54. Farmer's markets
55. flea markets
56. Gummy worms
57. Good wine
58. Sunshine
59. Rain
60. Thunder
61. Live music
62. Cafes 
63. Road trips
64. Singing in the car
65. Massages
66. Doing my nails myself
67. Sun dresses
68. kisses
69. Chocolate
70. hugs
71. butterfly kisses
72. vanilla flavored and scented things
73. Strawberries
74. Mangoes
75. Agbalumo
76. Balsamic vinegar
77. Being in Love
78. Sunday mornings
79. Pancakes and Perfect scrambled eggs
80. Strong women
81. Pretty food
82. Reading
83. Fashion
84. Italy, Italian culture.
85. intimate Wedding decor, planning, attire.
86. Men's Fashion and stylish men
87. The color green
88. Pictures
89. The color coral
90. Interior Decor
91. Love quotes from old books and movies... and poetry
92. Soft serve ice-cream
93. Boy shorts
94. Lifting weights
95. Smiling
96. Saying "Thank you"
97. Jazz music
98. Fluffy comfy beds
99. Long train rides.
100. Leather satchels and briefcases
101. Classic shoes
102. My quiet time
103. 101. Luxurious bath items- soap, bath bombs, lotions
104. Bookstores
105. Tiramisu
106. Chocolate cake
107. The smell of coffee
108. Independent and foreign films
109. Book readings
110. Being on time
111. Warm nights on roof tops
112. Lights, sparkly lights, pretty light at night.
113. washing my hands
114. Glasses
115. Male feminists
116. Sade Adu
117. Nneka
118. Dialogue
119. Sunday brunch
120. Numbers divisible by 3.

I am an alaseju (doing the most) I couldn't stop at 100... and I could still go on, but yeah see what I did with that last one? ;)

I enjoyed this task! So much fun, even if you aren't doing the 31 day reset(which you should totally do) you can do this task! just for fun, if you do let me know/see!

Love,

Sabirah

Buon' weekend!

Soulmates

Reading old emails and I found something.
The Partner and I were discussing soulmates and he quoted some writers on the subject.


This was his favorite


"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise....When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."  -Richard Bach


This was mine:

I have been here before, but when or how I cannot tell:

I know the grass beyond the door,

The sweet keen smell, the sighing sound, the lights around the shore.

You have been mine before - How long ago I may not know:

But just when at that swallow's soar, your neck turned so,

Some veil did fall, - I knew it all of yore." - Dante Gabriel Rosetti

At the time this moved something so deep inside me, glad to say it still does. Perfection. Funny we weren't dating yet then. (this can be argued but...)

"You have been mine before - How long ago I may not know"

Profound.

I don't think we all have only one soulmate by the way. 

Anyway, sigh :) Love is good and beautiful and special.

Love always,

Sabirah

31 day reset- Day 12

Today's task was to craft our ideal life narrative. I really enjoyed writing this :)

I am living in a quiet surburb filled with the sounds of birds, wind and children playing. Our house is spacious and has a lot of light coming in through the large windows, I especially love my home office because of the giant inspiration board above my computer. It is organized and messy at the same time. This is where I create. We own a lot of art and It's everywhere. Mostly by me and the people I love but also some prints of famous pieces. Our Decor is very DIY- Quirky. I love to entertain and my huge kitchen has been the home to lots of laughter, tears of joy and reunions. My partner and I host dinner parties often to catch up with friends and I hold a monthly book club meeting.


I am not "famous" but I am well known and respected in my field. I am good at what I do. I am a teacher, a creator and inspiration, a mover and shaker(lol). I run a successful cosmetic line and own an all natural salon and spa. I am active with the youth in my community especially girls and I am a mentor to many. I am part of a successful NGO in this area. I also run a blog/website where I share random things like recipes, book reviews etc and remind myself to stay happy and not forget me.


I spend my summers with my family in Florence doing some work, relaxing and continuing to practice my Italian. Travel is important to me and I try to experience a new area often whether 100km or 10,000km away. I enjoy and cherish my time alone and try to find at least a little time to spend by myself often. I take long baths in my vintage cast iron tub with claw feet to relax and often dance/go dancing with my partner for fun.


My partner is a handsome loving caring man who supports my quest to be a better person as I support his. I am very close to my parents and see them at least every two weeks. My brother and I are very close and he often spends a lot of time at my house. I am in touch with extended family members and often call, send gifts and visit.


I exercise often and cook healthy meals for my family. I am healthy physically and mentally. I earn enough to live the life I want and enjoy a few luxuries once in a while. I portion at least 10% of my earnings to helping others have a better life.


I am consistent on my self development journey and I continue to find ways to learn more, read more, give more and create more. God is ever present in my life and I bring him into my consciousness all the time. I stay on track with meditation, quiet time daily and prayer.
I am living my truth, and you can see it in all the love that shines upon me.

Living on the Edge

The title is very literal.
On Saturday my darling friend Seyi and I decided to enjoy some California Sun, sand and water. Little did we know the adventure that lay ahead.

We set out to Santa Cruz since we wanted a change from San Francisco beaches. We drove all the way, through the windy mountains, reached our destination and then realized we didn't want to be there. See Santa Cruz is your typical beach town, boardwalk with rides, candyfloss, beach boys, naked girls, a nice dose of hippies, basically lots of "characters". And Seyi and I were just looking for peace from a long week.

We were stuck, it was already 3:30 we couldn't go back to SF. Seyi then had a crazy idea,
"Why don't we just drive on highway 1, it's on the coast anyway and we'll just make a turning where we see an open road..." I gave her a crazed side eye and said nothing.
We had barely driven 5mins and she turned into what looked like farmland to me. she promised she saw water beyond... and so we began to walk...

Crossed some railway tracks, I was excited, still a little skeptical, this is how horror movies start

A teaser! water!! we were so excited till we realized there was no way for us to descend the cliff :(

So I fooled around a bit

And then the exciting part! we started walking along the cliff edges! it was exhilarating, scary, dangerous amazing

And the view! Amazing!! I don't know how many feet above we were maybe 200ft? crazy

At this point there were signs "Danger unstable cliff" Seyi inched closer, crazy!

you can tell we're really close here, it doesn't look that far down but it was. the crash of the water on the rocks! wonderful

Finally a not-too-steep descent

After 40mins of walking we were glad to find this path, albeit windy and steep

Spooky! we made it!

Spooky caves were the sounds of the waves echoed, of course we were the only ones here

Happiness

Relaxation time (check out my naija flip flops :D)

The long walk home

It was an amazing day and getaway, I felt sooo rejuvenated. It was just the pick-me-up I needed. Thank you Seyi, for an amazing day. We truly had the best YOLO moments :*

ps- all photos courtesy Seyi's iphone

Hope you enjoyed!

Happiness and Some changes...

So I'm in California again! Surprise, well not so surprising for some people, but yeah yaay! I'm here. I really didn't want to make a big fuss about it because it was a difficult decision but yeah I'm here and it's OK. I'm taking some courses in psychology that will help with my applications to grad school because I've been thinking about it again. I'm so confused. Some random lady told me that your 20's are the best time of your life... If so it needs to get better really quickly.

The first thing everyone says when I tell them I'm in California is "What about the partner" Lol. And I reply "Yeah what about him" aka we're good. Of course going from living 10mins away to 10,000 kilometers (almost) (catchy name for a book eh? don't steal it! :p) away is not a piece of cake but you gotta do what you gotta do right?

My happiness has been fleeting the past couple of weeks and I've been going through terrible bouts of sadness. I miss home so much, I miss my mom, dad and brother (I left the day after he returned from school :( ) I miss my friends the partner inclusive and I feel terribly lonely. I miss Lagos hustle and bustle, I miss my students and I just don't really want to be here right now. I'm a generally happy person as you probably know so feeling this way has really left me unsettled and it takes a conscious effort to look on the brighter side.

And there is a lot of "the brighter side" like having fast internet, and 24hour electricity and dependable public transportation lol (the little things) or the big things like being privileged to have parents who care for you and support you -friends too, having a roof over your head and great health, being able to sit in a classroom and learn and be inspired all over again (this is a wonderful thing- I love my classes). So yes there is so much to be thankful for, I'm aware, but it's still been a struggle to be happy.

One of my classes is titled "Psychology of Adjustment" How apt right? I'm learning a great deal about myself and my personality and maintaining a balance. It's been really helpful. I will probably share some info in my next post. I've been trying the to do the things that make me happy like exploring my favorite city San Francisco- went there yesterday and I felt a whole lot better- And trying not to brood or wallow in self pity. I definitely feel better already.

As always I'm thankful for this space, the people that read and respect it, it is my safe place so thank you.
Have a great week ahead,
Love, Sabirah

I miss Italia

Before you start, click play on the video... i'll tell the story of this song maybe another time.

(music playing? yes!? ok. Vai Vai!!)

1) I miss living a 4min walk from This. The Duomo... sigh

2) I miss almost every meal ending with this! sigh

 3) I miss Gelato! but even more I miss these amazing girls

 4) I miss eating Real Simple Pizza... I can't even look at American Pizza anymore

5) I miss the gorgeous Arno River

 6) I miss Barcardi Breezers!!in all the gorgeous flavors. Yes gorgeous Flavors!

 7) I miss being silly like this (tell me if you get it ;))

 8) I miss OK bar, our personal cafe. this was our first time there.

 9) I miss my almost-Italian Lover Fabio

 10) Gelato gets a shout out twice... you know why

 11) I miss Dante being everywhere!!!! Dante Alighieri!

 12) I miss being in awe of all the Art around me. I miss this sooo much

13) Most of all I miss these crazy girls(L-R Nirel,  Mama Sophia (all she does is win! lol) Me, Kathleen aka Lil' Peach, Nic nic Nicooole, Alexie Lexie Lexie!!) my Experience will not have been the same without them!!

I'm going to stop now before the tears... i'll probably do another one of these next week. You get my point, I miss Italy

Ci Parliamo dopo!
Sabirah

Paper Chasing.

I've been thinking a lot about the reasons that i behave the way I do, for a long time now, but now more than ever i'm beginning to think about the way other's behave and the driving force behind these actions.

The revelations have been scary.

It seems that all of my peers are chasing money. Yes money, everyone is in a rush to get it however they can. It makes sense after all, money buys pretty things but it also pays for the basics like food and shelter, so it makes sense to follow the money no?

Yes and no for me, because i'm noticing more and more that its not just about the basics anymore, there's this raging desire to in their (my peer's) eyes to live a certain lifestyle and most times not one that they have grown up with. To be honest its OK to want to be more successful (how do we even measure success?) than our parents were, to provide for our children (if we have any) more than our parents did for us. I think of myself and my love for travel sure does cost some, and I like pretty things. 

But after all is said, Money is not the motive for EVERYTHING I do, and that's what scares me about these peers I'm talking about. I understand that some people don't have many options, they have to chase the money to survive, those are not the people I'm talking about. Everyday we're being sold a luxury lifestyle, through glitzy magazines and commercials on TV. No one ever talks about what is behind that life, and to be honest I have no interest in finding out. When I discuss my goals with people I can hear the scoff that barely escapes their lips, their thoughts "nobody makes any money like that".

How do I explain that although I understand what money can get it will never be the driving force behind my most important decisions (and I hope it will never have to be) i'm content with living a fulfilling life by changing the lives of others, having all the things I need and some wants now and then. I appreciate the privilege of having the opportunity to focus on dreams with the support of my parents, but I also know that there are many luxuries I have given up, and the Paper chasing route was an option and still seems appealing once in a while.

I guess at the end of it all it depends on your definition of happiness and where that comes from. Just make sure that whatever path you choose... whatever decisions you make its full of meaningful things.

I read this quote can't remember where but I was nine years old, actually I think it was the title of a book "Follow your dreams, the money will come after" something along those lines. It stuck I guess. 

Take a risk that brings you joy soon,

Sabirah.

Italia: Lucca!

This has been my favorite Italian town/city yet and I've been to a few Vetralla, Viterbo, Pisa, Living in Florence, Rome, Siena... So it means a lot. Every Italian town has its own attraction and appeal. Florence and Lucca are close contenders for no1 in Italy in my book for many reasons.
Lucca was everything I had imagined Italy to be, small, authentic, beautiful and charming. It is one of the few Italian towns that still has a complete city wall from medieval times, a lot of the other towns had lost their walls to earthquakes or had been bombed during wars. The city walls were built to protect the city from attack and had look outs for guards. They often had the gates into the city and those were often shut at night to protect the people living in the city.
I loved Lucca because it had managed to keep its charm but still incorporate modern little things like modern shops etc. It was not flooded with tourists as Florence is and spending a day there was just amazing, I really got a sense of what the people that live there do...
Ok pictures :D (it was the same day i went to Pisa so same clothes but I spent the whole day in Lucca, just about an hour in Pisa)

Welcome to Citta di Lucca!

Lots and lots of bike riders here, like Davis! love it.

Isn't it great how Good music is universal? Although we couldn't get seats to the concert it was so nice to know that the people of Lucca would be enjoying a nice intimate concert.

A beautiful church in one of the main squares (piazza) There was a man playing beautiful music from an accordion. definitely set a great mood in the square.

Another beautiful chiesa (Church)

We went to this beautiful little Trattoria it was the most authentic Italian place I had eaten in, in my four weeks here :)

It was just so local and pretty and rustic! One of the main reasons I fell in love with Lucca.

My "Primi piatti" - First plate- Rissoto con Frutti di mare ( Rissoto, with mixed seafood) Soooo yummy! it had calamari and whole baby squid. yum yum.

These are the bottles that held the water and house wine that we got. yum yum Vino Rosso!

Secondo Piatti - Second plate. roast potatoes with veal. this was the most delicious piece of meat i had ever had in my life, cut so thinly and spiced just right, no over kill you can tell it was slowcooked. very moist and just delicious, by now you should know I really enjoy well cooked food. this was a winner!

Dessert con caffe! A shot of espresso with some delicious Tiramisu. We really ate Italian style, slow over good conversation so that when we were finally done we weren't as full and bloated as we expected.

My espresso saucer :) Passion of Espresso

Pretty Garden! Lucca!

Found a beautiful Yellow house, can't find the full picture :(

Walking on the medieval wall 

Sitting on the wall. I love this photo, it was Candid :)

Laying on the grass couldn't help but take a photo of these little flowers

The Sun hat was such an excellent idea! 

Arriverdeci Lucca! Ci vediamo dopo! Mi piace Citta di Lucca molto molto!