On Maintaining Relationships.

Over the last 2 days I've emailed 6 friends, Called 2, texted 5, emailed 3 former employers, sent a card to an old colleague, called an aunt and emailed 2 cousins and one professor; This list doesn't include the friends I talk to every couple of days via bbm, phone or text. And I still have people I need to contact

How do I deal?

Over the last year between graduating, going to Italy -> California -> Lagos and now back to California, I feel like I've left a string of relationships all over the place. Relationships I can't seem to properly manage. For example, my college friends who I love so dearly; these people were the ones I cried to when I slaved all week on a paper and still got a B, or when that relationship ended. They were the ones I cooked for every weekend, the ones who stayed with me the thanksgiving I had nowhere to go...

How about my former employers? The ones who gave me an opportunity, and taught me, corrected me and encouraged me, the ones who still agree to be my references? Or cousins, who I have lost touch with but still share about 12% of my DNA. Or friends who may not be so close but I still know I will cry at their weddings and still stay on the phone with them for three hours when they need to cry.

Or my new friends who I've know only a short while but it seems like an eternity... The list is endless, these relationships may not be my closest, as close as before or geographically close but all these people mean something to me and are an important part of my existence.

My question is how do you manage? I know at some point in my life I was on top of it, monthly check-in's for some, bi-weekly check-ins for others and for some just a "hello hope you're well" once every 6 months and a "happy birthday, God bless you" once every year. But somehow I lost it, and I don't know how to get it back. I know that saying "20 friends cannot play together for 20 years", and I understand it. This isn't a matter of "friendship". From casual acquaintances to work networks... These are relationships I don't want to just fizz out, some will I understand, but I want to do my part to make sure some don't.

And I'm drowning.

Help.

A loss of Sorts

It's been a week since I last blogged shame on me.

My internet expired and since I'm a poor lowly teacher with no salary.... OK this is just an excuse, I ignore. I apologise for being a lazy blogger.

Anyways howdy and all that, hope you're well. (did I just type howdy?)

You know, living in Lagos is stressful; imagine something stressful... now multiply by 10, add heat and then add a good serving of disgruntled government workers. Luckily for me my state of mind helps me combat stress, I try to stay cool but the disgruntled government workers are a necessary evil. OK I shouldn't call them evil, some of them are my family members and maybe yours too. They probably have a lot to be unhappy about;  late salaries and the like, but we all live in Lagos and know how horrible it is, if we were a bit pleasant to one another maybe life would be a little better no?

Anyways I had to get my Nigerian passport renewed so I had to come in contact with these evil people, apart from being unbearably hot and everything being slow and people yelling at me "GO AND MAKE PHOTOCOPY" everything was going at snail pace smoothly. I came prepared, I had a book, I waited my turn even as they loaded other's files on top of mine, I was patient, like a good girl.

My turn came and I went to the photo area, pulled my hair back and smiled. *snap* that was easy... being  good girl pays. NOT!
"Madam, remove that earring!"- she yelled at me
"Erm I can't... it's it's.." I stuttered
"Why???" she bellowed
"Erm because it has a screw and.." I continued
"MADAM GET UP! GET UP! TAKE YOUR FILE AND LEAVE THIS PLACE" She yelled.
There are few things I hate more that being yelled at, tears formed in the back of my eyes as I picked up the rest of my dignity and walked out. I went to the car and removed my industrial piercing, over four years... I thought nothing as I walked back in and finished the passport process. Witch Lady had gone to lunch.

August 16th 2007 few days after I got it.

Fast forward to evening as I undressed to go to bed, I looked at my ears and freaked out.
My chest was literally hurting. I felt a deep sense of loss, I also knew that too many hours had gone by and putting it back in would be excruciating.
My mum said "Start of a new era, you're no longer a teenager"
Why do I still feel the dull ache in my chest?
Have you ever lost something you thought you wouldn't miss?