God loves your Fabulousity!

About a week ago a friend of mine visited her old work place, when she got there she saw a former colleague and was shocked by her appearance. She looked drawn, sick, and bland, like someone whose life had been sucked out. Someone who had formerly taken joy in wearing makeup, nice clothes and generally looking and feeling good now looked like a shadow of herself. In a later conversation she found out that the woman in question had “given her life to Christ” and that was the reason for her new appearance.

When I heard this story I was deeply saddened, my friend who was just generally giving me “gist” was surprised by how personal I seemed to be taking the whole story, but I couldn't help it. All I could imagine was that if these were the kind of examples I had seen when I embarked on my spiritual journey I would probably have just jumped ship.

I remember tweeting a long time ago “A long time ago, someone lied to me about God, I’m still trying to fix it.” I still find this true today. Here are some things I know for sure- God doesn't want you to stop being YOU. He wants us to have joy in our lives, to live full lives, lives that are abundant in love, kindness and happiness. God cares so little about our outward appearance; he cares that we love him and others.

 All those little quirks about you, your funky fashion, your crazy hair, your several colors of nail polish, your explosive laughter- they make you special and as long as what is inside you is good character – love and kindness; God doesn't care if you dye your hair blue. So you can understand why I was so sad to hear about this lady who stripped herself, of herself in the name of “God” , I just hope her character was given an overhaul too- otherwise it was all for nothing.

I'm not saying your belief shouldn't have an effect on your outward appearance- depending on who you are it might- what I'm saying is that the inner work should begin first and be focused on more, then it may now start reflecting on the outside.

God has given us the gift of life and we better enjoy living it.
(I rarely talk about my spirituality as it's a deeply personal journey for me so I ask that whatever your beliefs are you keep your comments polite. Thank you for keeping this a safe space)

Love always,

Sabirah.

Hey! I want to marry my best friend too!

So you can blame this post on Bellanaija weddings, recently saw a post that was oozing love! The husband mentioned several times that he was so happy and lucky to have married his best friend and I thought huh, I want that...

Here's the thing, when I started dating my partner, it was a very short moment of friendship, just so happened that we both wanted something more, and jumped right into it. We started off really as partners, in fact we ran into some problems later when we discovered that we really had to build a solid friendship in addition to our romantic relationship. And while I can confidently say we are good friends now, I can't say he is my best friend.

Looking at the relationships I have with those I call my best friends, I can say they are made up of a mix of many different things; A shared history, mutual trust, love, similar interests, memories and a looooot of time. Of course some of these factors are dependent on one another, I mean you can't really create a shared history if you haven't had a lot of time to do it...

So I'm asking, how important is it for your partner to be your "Best friend"? What does that even mean? Is it just another label? Can it be cultivated? If yes, what are the secret ingredients?- I'm thinking time and patience, at least that's what we are working with ;)


Share your thoughts!

Love always,
Sabirah :)

9 p.m.

It's 9 p.m. and my brother has just fallen asleep on my lap, we were watching the good wife  together till the sound of his soft snoring interrupted. I lightly touched his face, his jaw-line and his chin where soft tufts of hair were starting to grow. I love this kid, boy, almost-man. This moment reminds me of when he was first born, I couldn't get over how fast and how much he slept. I feel protective of him in this moment, like I somehow want to teach him everything I know without telling him explicitly, because he would be too proud to listen.

In this same moment, I feel a pang of pain, I'm often mean to him. Yesterday I said some harsh things, over something petty, like cleaning up after himself. I can't help it, we are different but also so similar. I want to control him, but just so I can protect him from what's ahead, but he wont have anything of it; again, pride. He is growing, forming his own ideas, having opinions, talking back. And I am here, helpless, bickering, yelling and being the older sister, essentially baiting. I want to be better. To be mature.

But I'm realizing something, I seem to be most unkind to those I love.
Is this normal?
Or are we just most critical of those we love...
Or maybe we spend so much time with them and they see us for who we truly are?
Or maybe...
I don't know, what do you think?

Love always,
Sabirah.

Hey, 24 looks good on you

Good morning! It is the Sunday after my birthday and I'm feeling good :) Thanks to everyone who sent some love my way.

I woke up to my mum rubbing my back and whispering prayers into my ear and I promise you, that's one of the best things in this world. My day was very chill, I was home with my family and partner and we just ate and watched multiple episodes of "The Good Wife" - yooooo how come no one told me about this show? I love it-. I was pretty upbeat in the morning enjoying the phone calls and just relaxing... then power went out...

The calls kept coming in and my mood started to drop, everybody kept asking "Where the party at" "Where is the cake?" "Is there rice at your house?" As soon as the pattern became clear I began discouraging people from coming over because I really hadn't made any plans.

I realized in Nigeria, your birthday is not a day for you to be showered with presents and goodwill. It's a day for you to celebrate (AKA show your friends and family a good time) and entertain. In fact, saying you didn't have anything planned meant that though you might not be bringing out the champagne, there would be rice and chicken and small chops for anyone who stopped by.

I guess we live and learn, later that evening my partner took me out to dinner at La Mango in GRA Ikeja, I had read about it on the lovely Kene's blog, post here (it was a great review, go have a look, I love her blog!) and I wanted to check it out.

 Obligatory silly picture, because we are like that

 We opted for the Thai menu, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much they had to offer.

 Sorry I only remembered to take a photo of our appetizers after we had finished eating them, hey, we were hungry and they were yummy.

 The strobe lighting was really distracting, in fact we had to ask them to turn off the one beside me. Also they were playing really loud Nigerian dance music and we could barely talk and eat. Next time I go there will definitely be in the daytime.

 Hey! A for presentation (minus those straggly lettuce leaves), Pineapple fried rice

 Seafood stir fry

 Pad Thai

 Prawn yellow curry

The food was tasty, really flavorful and all but it just didnt have that authentic Thai taste I love, I will visit the restaurant again, but opt for a different place if I'm craving Thai.

So all in all it was a good day, thankful for another year. Hey, 24 looks good on me!

Love always,

Sabirah!

Birthday Blues!

Hurraaaay it's August!

(source)

And it's my birthday in a few days, Saturday to be precise, and I've got the birthday blues. I don't know, I'm just not excited and I usually am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful for my life and God's grace. Very very thankful. 

This is the first birthday I'll be spending with my family in over 7years. All the past years whether I had a quiet birthday or a gathering, I always planned it myself since I lived on my own, now that I'm with family, I was kinda expecting something but it doesn't look promising. lol. I know i'll still have a good day regardless of what happens, but right now I feel so bleh.

Also ASOS cancelled my order for no damn reason (first time ordering anything from Nigeria >_<) so my birthday present to myself is no longer existent. Sigh. There are so many major things I'm praying for and expectant of that I guess it's weighing down  my excitement a bit.

I hope I snap out of it by tomorrow.

Love,

Sab.

Miss Sabirah!

Friday was the last day of the school year and phew, what an experience! I started this job in January, doe-eyed, expectant, scared but also very excited. It wasn't my first teaching position, but first "real" one in many ways. I wasn't volunteering, it was (is) a full time position, and I was in charge of one class. My own class, my own kids, my rules. It was scary- no thrilling is the word.

It started off bumpy, it almost felt like the children were deliberately testing me and I lost it a couple of times. But over time we built trust and established our relationships; Teacher-mom(this one always freaks me out, been called mommy by accident a couple of times)-sister- and most importantly friend.

My students became some of my strongest allies while I was still navigating the school and getting my bearings. You find friends in the unlikeliest places...

Boy did I learn a lot these past six months!  Re-evaluated my choices a few times, but as each day went by I became more confident. I realized that it's one thing to enjoy something and another to be good at it. I am a good teacher and I'm on my way to being an excellent one. I'm really grateful to have been put under the watch of the best mentor ever. She is, and was everything and I'm really going to miss her next year. 

In September I will be starting with a new class, I got the graduating class again and I can only say cheers to the next school year, I look forward to and even better one, and more opportunities for growth in this journey!

Here's to my vacation! :D

As always,
Love,
Sabirah.

Liebester award!

1. Thank the blogger that nominated you

    Done!

2. List 11 random facts about yourself

• I got a stuffed Llama and baby elephant from my partner last week, I love them!
• They are called Obama and Amira
• I love painting my nails
• I dont wear watches to know the time, they are just another accessory to me
• I like to wave at random people in traffic
• My favorite ice-cream is chocolate-chip cookie dough- most times
• I loooove tea
• I believe in unicorns, I'm kidding, ok not really
• Mermaids freak me out! ugh
• I can cry on demand
• I love cheesy chick-flick movies, but detest chick-lit.
• I have no desire to visit Paris

3. Answer the questions the person who nominated you asked
 If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Eggs- scrambled, sunny side up, stewed etc. lol with a side of course
Who's your celebrity crush?
Ermmmm Maxwell? Prince? I think
Are you happy with your current spiritual life?
Meh
What's one of your biggest beauty secrets?
Water!
Have you ever dated someone outside of your race? Be specific:)
Yes, twice. Both white.
What are your top 3 favorite movies?
eiissshhhh this is hard; 500 days of summer, Despicable me, Vicky Christina Barcelona (this is all I can remember right now. lol)
What's your favorite book of all time?
Ermmm I definitely do not have one. Love waay too many lol
Which places do you want to visit in your lifetime?
Ghana, Kenya, Mali, China, Japan, and Boston, USA lol
If you could have a conversation with one deceased person, who would it be and why?
I don't have anyone
Does your job feel like pleasure or pain?
Pleasure!
What's your favorite part about blogging?
Having a safe space to be truly myself


Thank you Ada in Progress for nominating me!