Summer crafting!

My summer has finally started! I'm doing stuff, seeing friends and spending lots of time outside, the next week will prob see an influx of picture posts of what I've been up to. I've been hanging out with my friend Maribel quite a bit, she is my friend from college and has such a beautiful heart and spirit it's kind of hard not to be happy and inspired when I'm around her.

I love crafting, and being in Maribel's place is always such a dream, Her Major in college was actually design so she has supplies for days and is bursting with creativity!

 She designed these letters to hang over her bed, so pretty and ornate

'Belle!

Crafting snack

Pretty creations!

I made a card

Maribel made the cutest necklace for her Professor

A card too which she designed and printed

Finished product

I look forward to more crafting projects ahead.

p.s. I will share my finished product once the owner receives it.

What have you been up to?

Committing your day

Hello beautiful ones!!

Hope everyone's week is going well, I had a bit of a difficult evening tonight but I've let it go, I should talk about forgiveness here soon. Anyhooo on to much brighter things, well not really yet... Waaaaah My photoshop trial expired :( I'm so sad, it's been only a day since but I miss it so much.
I did manage to learn quite a bit and I can't wait to continue practicing (hint my birthday is on the third! birthday pressie Idea :)), so much more creativity waiting to be unleashed!

I created this graphic last week and it's part of my daily meditation and prayer which I'm still building. I wrote this piece during the 31 day reset as part of my effort tto connect to my spirituality and just bring God into my consciousness during my daily meditation. I hope this makes sense?

I've found that when I take the time to read this before I start my day I feel much stronger and ready to take on the day. It's a great feeling. Sometimes I do this while laying in bed, sometimes as I walk to the bus and many times just on the bus. Feels great.

What do you ask for when you wake?

Love,
Sabirah

Book Review : The Reluctant Fundamentalist

I just spent the evening devouring this book. I read fast, but I constantly found myself pausing to slow down and savor the writing. As such I will do something uncharacteristic, well a couple of things- all related, 1)Attempt to review this book upon reading this book only once 2) Review it within minutes of finishing it. 3) Review it without doing some writing in my journal and reflection.

I bought this book over a year ago, I had asked someone I respected a lot to offer some suggestions for books as I was about to make my yearly "Big Amazon Purchase" I added it to my cart without reading the reviews and bought it soon after. But between moving across continents and having my belongings scattered between seas (I am quite dramatic), I didn't get to it till today.

Alright let me get right into it; This book reads like poetry, I mean the writing is impeccable, it is easily the best work of art I have read this year. The store is set in Lahore, Pakistan where
a monologue between the main character "Changez" and an undisclosed American unfolds. Have I mentioned how beautifully the writing flows? The writer beautifully switches from the present setting, to recounting the past with the mysterious American. I love how very little is revealed about the American man yet we are given various clues as to his unease throughout the monologue.

The story is very fast paced and very much a coming of age story with a backdrop of political and social events. More often than not I'm finding that I really enjoy these sort of novels. It really asks the question; "For how long can one ignore the social and political themes that go on around us"

I absolutely enjoyed how much this book explored "unrest" in the mental state of Changez and his troubled girlfriend "Erica" at different stages. As much as this is not a love story at all there are little glimmers of an unattainable love for both characters. The sub story of Erica's mental health was another thing I greatly enjoyed. I wasn't necessary to understand Changez's story yet it added a certain depth and perspective.

The author Mohsin Hamid and the main character "Changez" share many similarities in that they both grew up in Laore and went to Princeton and I can't help but wonder how much of the story is actually Hamid's. The relationship between fiction and non-fiction are co-dependent anyways...

Alright if I say anymore I'll tell all. I would really recommend this book, to everyone, even if you don't enjoy the story (This would be hard) the writing is impeccable. I will be reading it again in about a month I'm guessing.

Have you read it, what did you think? If not are you interested?

Hope everyone's week got off to a good start!

Love always,
Sabirah

Thursday Tidbits

1. I had an awesome day crafting with my friend! Made a pretty card, I'll post the photo after the owner receives it. I was so in the zone painting (I love watercolor) that I didn't realize it was late already!
2. My friend invited me to go and see "The Dark knight rises" midnight showing tonight, I declined. during the last one I saw 4 years ago I took a nice 15minute nap in the middle, apparently I didnt miss too much, some people died. meh.
3. So yesterday my co-worker gave me a  vegan chocolate chip cookie, it was delicious, I mean I ate half of it before realizing it tasted like sand... with chocolate chips.
4. The above revelation shows that I cheated a bit... I mean it was a gift, she even wrapped it nicely.
5.  I've been starved of any sweets for so long I no longer have a discerning palette.
6. I've been craving bread like crazy lately! Good San Franciscan sour dough or a sweet honey tinged multi-grain. sigh. 
7. Still no rice cravings since 19gogoro. Very interesting for something I ate so often.
8. I have been rocking my hair in sooo many different styles! just loving the versatility! Summer is for BIG hair! (I'll try to get some photos)
9. Since I'm confessing to stuff I also had chocolate today. It was delicious.

Have an awesome weekend good people!

Love always,

Sabirah.

Journal Kickstart!

Hello there lovely people!

I hope you're having a great week so far, there was quite a bit of feed back on my You should keep a Journal post, some of you were a bit hesistant and some are revisiting journalling and some have just jumped right in. Wherever you are in that group, I decided to make a simple writing prompt to help with any inertia. I hope you get to writing!

I'm off to do mine :)
Love always,
Sabirah.

Before me, who were you Mommy?

So I was snooping around my Friend M's blog and found this video which led to a series of thoughts and reflections.

[You do not have to watch the video to get the gist of the post, just to show you my inspiration/ thought process, if you do watch the video can I just comment on how beautiful their relationship is and how emotionally mature willow is!! Like what?? I know many grown men (yes I am throwing shaaade) who are not even close to this level. I've always admired {the little I know of} their parenting]


I've written about my relationship with my mother here before and all sorts of feelings about it. Fast forward to a year and some months after I wrote that post I wonder if I've learned much about her. She has gone through some pretty big changes in the past 2years so I was busy keeping up with that and didn't have much opportunity to delve into who she was before me.

I don't have any pictures of her before me. I'm jealous of you folks that have those "old school photos" of your parents before you came along. I can piece together random bits and bobs from stories my Grandma and her siblings have told me. In SS1 my Grandma sent her away to a village secondary school near abeokuta because she wouldn't focus and was always playing (this story always cracks me up). She was a runner in college, that's how she met my dad, she went to his university to compete. She was feisty and would pick fights with any and everyone, she always fought for her siblings even when they didn't want her to... aaaand that's about it! They say her smile and her laugh are still exactly the same. As for my grandma all I know is that she had a book shop when my mom was little and that's why my mom reads and writes so much. How I would love to dig! I'm going to definitely ask them when next we are all together.

My Dad on the other hand. Mahn I know a lot about him. In fact people alwaaaays want to tell me about my dad (my mom and I keep begging him to write a book). I had the privilege of sitting next to a man that used to know my father on a flight from Dubai to Lagos. In fact after I had introduced myself he couldn't come to terms with the fact that I was my father's daughter. He asked me several times in his hausa accented English "Are you sure?" "I just can't believe it" After he got over it I asked him why he was so shocked (even though I knew what was coming)
"Hmmm your father, every bad thing I did in secondary school was because of him, he was my junior but he scared me and made me so excited. He made us smoke they caught us and he disappeared." "He taught me how to drive, he used to sneak the car out of the house mid-night by pushing it manually" "Hmmm your father! who married him?"
"Erm my mother?" I replied laughing
A lot of this wasn't new to me.

I could go on for days but I'll wrap it up, My dad carries most of that energy with him still, he still sings like everyone says he did. He still smokes (he has promised that this year is his last we'll see) He still knows how to make a party out of nothing. I think my knowing all these things about him our relationship stronger and make him easy to understand, and easy to understand myself. I'm happy just like him, I draw good energy and I'm highly creative just like him, I love to sing too (though I'm no Adele I can carry a tune) I'm not half as adventurous but I find less risky ways to find my thrills.

Here is my question if you made it through. What do you know about your parents lives before you, before marriage? Who told you? Have they changed a lot? Do you see yourself in them?


Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Love always,
Sabirah.

On building Faith.

I have spent the last three hours crying my eyes out from worry and anxiety over many things I can't discuss here. It's been one thing or the other over the past couple of weeks and one last thing broke the proverbial camel's back.

About a month or two ago I was talking to my co-worker about how "I came here not knowing where I was going to live" but came anyway and she was like wow, your faith is strong. And you know, I blushed because I had never thought of it as an act of faith but in retrospect it was.

Last Sunday I was skyping with my friend Eresuyi (who by the way is such a huge blessing to me, God bless him) and I was discussing a problem  with him, after laying down all the facts, pros, cons and analysed logic, all he said to me was "You have to be honest with yourself, do you have faith? Are you ready to put ALL of your trust in God" That shook me. Because I wasn't..

Skip to today...


After doing everything I could possibly do, tiring myself out from crying, I decided to pray. Isn't that something? Praying was the LAST thing I thought to do when everything was going wrong, yet I say that I believe that God is the one who plans and controls the entire universe. Praying was the last thing I thought to do. I'm surprised, because this reflects a dissonance between who I am saying I am and what my actions are.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil. 4:6

Be anxious for nothing.
Be anxious for nothing.
Be anxious for nothing.

I just received an email as I was typing this. The problem that broke the proverbial Camel's back? Solved. and on it's way to extinction.
Isn't that something?

Isn't Faith something?

You Should Keep a Journal...

Hey Everyone,

Hope your week got off to a good start. I'm always talking to people about writing in a Journal and all the amazing benefits, I thought I'd share with you my top 12. If you know someone who is "stuck" or needs to find their "happy" again please share. :)

1. Personal development and Awareness : Writing in a journal can really help you grow as a person. How can you become a better person if you don't know who you are? how can you change if you don't love yourself? I believe keeping a journal can really open yourself up to you.
2. Remember: Sorry to break it to you guys but your memory is not a video recorder, in fact just a while after that amazing experience you will begin to loose little details and soon all you'll remember is how great you felt- which is OK but- Imagine being a able to go back and read it all, or share it with someone? While I was in Italy I wrote in my journal so much and I'm happy I did. I have about 3pages describing the flavor of a certain gelato- Yes that good.
3. Goal Setting: It is said that "A goal not written down is just a wish" Writing down your goal is actually proven to make you more likely to achieve them (sorry I can't pull up the study, what is this psych 191? :p). Anyways write your goals down, track them, plan! achieve! 
4. Perspective: Sometimes ( A lot of the time) We have to step back and evaluate a situation, unfortunately our heads will mix our evaluations with feelings and "butt-hurt-ness" and writing it out in your journal can help you see it from a different perspective maybe when the emotions are less intense. 
5. Safe Space: The world can be a harsh place, and sometimes even our friends and family "just don't get it" A journal can serve as that safe space to vent, to confess or just let it all out. Quiet time with yourself and even God too. Writing definitely soothes the soul.
6. Improve your relationship with yourself and others: For some people it's easy to describe feelings, or maybe we just learnt early on. Some feelings are also easier than others, for me when I feel undervalued it first looks like fear, but I try to take some time to Journal about it and understand it and if it involves another person, explain it them after.
7. Focus:I'm constantly day dreaming and usually have 101 fun ideas or things I want to do floating at the same time in my head. It can get pretty chaotic up here and hard to get a clear focus on a central idea, so I write it down. Sometimes if I can't put it into words I'll just doodle it- I love doodling!
8. Reflect and Measure progress: I love going back to read things I wrote, I can see distinct areas of growth and sometimes areas that may need some work still. It's amazing.
9. Gratitude Attitude: Nothing like being grateful to lift your spirits, some of my journal entries are just long "Thank you's. When I read some problems I wrote about previously I write again on how thankful I am they got resolved.
10. Problem solving: I love to make lists of pros and cons in my journal, also "the worst possible outcome" of taking certain decisions. When I write them down I can see how silly my fears are or If I really should hold back.
11. Peace: Sometimes even if there isn't an immediate solution to a problem, I write it in my journal and just let it go for that moment. I also forgive people a lot in my journal. And that overwhelming feeling of peace is just blissful.
12. Happiness: Since keeping a journal I've learnt so much about who I am and as a result I am happier. I know the things that bring me the most joy and I'm taking steps to pursue them. No matter what stage you are in life you can benefit from some more happiness :). Your well being will affect those around you for the better too!

Whoooosh I didn't intend for this post to be this long and if you stuck around to the end I hope you gained something. Of course you don't have to journal everyday, I haven't journalled in a while myself so this post is kind of a reminder to myself. I know people that use their phones to journal, have a private/public blog, (this blog is kinda my semi-journal lol) but I like paper and pen. Quiet time :)

Have a great day/ evening everyone!

Love always,
Sabirah.

Thursday Tidbits.

It's Thursday yahooo!

1. Some things in life shouldn't be expensive, like lipstick, like why should I buy one tube out of all the many other shades of the rainbow for $18. Nah son. Pass.
2. I took out my braids!! Praise Master Jesus, they've been in for waay too long.
3. Washing my hair is. ahhhhhh. I love my hair.
4. I love my hair, in case you didn't see the first time
5. It's my birthday sooon :D
6. Hey read my last post! I really want more input on that topic, it's still swimming in my thoughts.
7. I am in love with Target. I can live there.
8. And baby elephants, well I can't live in them but you get.
9. My brother vacates from boarding school today. Wish I was home to meet him :( I miss that boy.

Have an amazing weekend everyone!

God bless you.

Love always,

Sabirah

How do you know...

...that you want children?

Happy Independence day to all ye Americans! Hope you had fun if you celebrate this holiday! I went to work much earlier then ended up having dinner and watching fireworks with my lovely co-worker and her amazing family and friends. I really enjoy hanging out with adults. It was tons of fun.

So my co-worker has often told me how loving her 5year old twin boys are (they are the last of her five sons!), they smother her in hugs, kisses and "mommy I love you's" every couple of minutes. When she used to tell me before I met them I would just be like "awwww, they are so sweet can't wait to meet them". Today I finally did and I was in awe, not only did they tell her how much they loved her multiple times, they told her she was beautiful, smart and "good"(their words) over and over. You know how children speak straight from the heart? It's a beautiful thing to watch and I was just so captivated. The boys are really sweet and by the end of the night "Auntie Sabirah" had gotten a few hugs and kisses too!

I could speculate on why the boys are so loving; their mom has a really kind spirit, and open heart and is just a joyous person, or maybe they watch their father smother their mom in the same type of affection(he does), or maybe they haven't been taught that boys shouldn't express their feelings... who knows? Could be a combination of all... but that's not the reason for this post, see when I was with them something stirred in me, I felt like I wanted this, that one day I'd like to have  children.

It's something I've always known I wanted, not really sure why, maybe because it is expected of me? I've just never really asked myself why. Like I can tell you a million and one reasons of why I want to be in a committed long-term relationship a lot of which don't sound selfish, but when I think of children not so much. When I hear people talk about why they don't want children many of their reasons make a lot of sense and I feel like if I were to write an argumentative essay it would be easier to write on why one wouldn't want kids.

But I want children! For many selfish reasons; So I can give love and receive it, so I can look at my partner and say "see what we made, that's a part of both of us!". So I can watch someone grow. I'd love to have my own and definitely adopt as well by God's grace. I still need to think about and reflect on this. But I'd really love to hear from you...

Do you want children? Why or why not? When did you know and how? Are you sure?


Love and Baby giggles!
Sabirah