Oluwaseyifunmi...

A lot of my close friends are people I've known for a long time, mostly from early high school days, Of course I've made friends along the way but some of my closest are also the oldest. But let me tell you about this girl. I guess I should start from the beginning, we kinda have a cute love story.

It was cold dreary winter day, 12/12/09 to be precise. I only know the exact date because I took the picture below.  It was my first quarter at Davis and I had finished finals that day, most of my new friends had gone home for winter break, I don't know where I got the bright Idea that staying in Davis would be a wise decision.

I was on skype with my friend Ebuka and I think we were playing some game (chinese checkers or hangman). We thought it would be fun to add another person to our game, but none of our mutual friends were online so he asked me if I minded if he called Seyi (this is how I remember the story oh :s if I'm wrong please don't correct me, I like my story).

...I was cool with it, the more the merrier yes? So he added her to the call, we never ended up playing the game. When she answered the phone she was speaking yoruba to someone and I remember thinking, how cool! I never hear young people speaking yoruba to one another. So yeah we just ended up just gisting about various topics. Then Ebuka said "You california people" and I was like what? You're in California? and she was like yeah, San Francisco. I got so excited! That's like 2 and a half hours from Davis! I love SF and I hang out in the city a lot. We discussed our favorite SF spots till Ebuka started feeling left out. lol

After a while I complained about being hungry and how I was out of milk, then she said "I'm not doing anything I'll bring you some"
I was like "what? it's past midnight and it's an almost 3hour drive!"
 And she was like "But you're hungry, what's your address I'm getting in my car"
So just like that I gave this girl I had just met my address to come to my house in the middle of the night. Long story short she came, She forgot the milk and brought an uninvited guest - her poodle who peed on my carpet and chased me around my apartment. (the picture above with the poodle was taken that night we met).
So she stayed over that night with her hyperactive dog and the next day instead of going to buy milk, I packed an overnight bag and followed her back to hers, I ended up staying 5days. lol

And that was the beginning of a long friendship, I can't imagine how many miles I put on her car with all the back and forths. I remember telling my mom about her and how we met and then my mom spoke to her and fell in love.

Overtime I came to love not only her but this wahala dog "Buddy" we have a complicated relationship but I do love her.

Seyi was with me during some of my most difficult times read breakup  ever, ready with a box of tissues and several bottles of wine. We had great times in my apartment. She never missed my birthday and we always spent them either on my couch or bed singing off key and drinking wine and then stuffing our faces at sushi buffet later.

One of my favorite memories with her was new year's eve 2009, we had been at a party banquet thing(such a fun fancy party) then at a quarter to 12 we decided we didn't want to party into the new year so we started rushing home, needless to say we didnt make it and ended up parking in front of a 7-eleven and praying into the new-year.

Our many beach escapades (see Living on the edge) were always so much fun! it pays to live on the coast.

If I were to describe Seyi in one word it would be "Selfless" when she cares about you she will always make your needs a priority. She also is the definition of "I don't send" I love her spirit. I remember anytime we went into a store she would dance sing and just generally embarrass me just for the heck of it. (ugh why is this starting to sound like an eulogy? God Forbid). A lot has changed since I first met her, for one she no longer wears only distressed boyfriend jeans I mean she must have had like 10 pairs(pictured below)! And she is no longer a cynic. In fact she makes even me do the puke face sometimes, yeah that cheesy in love). But she still collects perfume and she still has one of the strongest spirits I've ever met.

I'm definitely blessed to have met her just by chance. I only hope I''ve brought as much joy into her life as she has to mine.

So what's the point of this long story? We'll She's moving to a different state, and yeah it's not that big of a deal but then it is. It hit me hard on Tuesday. See no matter where I went, I would always know that when i came back to California Seyi would be there. When I went to Italy and came back, she was there, when I moved to Nigeria and then 6months later found myself back in America guess whose house I went straight to from the airport? Yeah. She has been a constant. I was a Big girl as I hugged her goodbye yesterday, I didn't even cry but mahhn... sigh

So Seyi, When you read this (and forgive me for reducing your street cred) I just want you to know I love and care for you deeply. As you start this next chapter of your life I wish you utmost happiness and God's guidance and protection. Take time out for yourself so you can continue to be as amazing as you are. You are a special person, beautiful inside and out and I am privileged to call you my friend!

If you (La Bella imperfezione readers) are reading this, please send her some positive energy and also take time out to appreciate the good friends you have (the reason this was sounding like an eulogy was 'cos people only ever stay these things when it's too late) If you appreciate someone let them know today!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love always,
Sabirah

Thursday Tidbits

1. Photoshop does not have an autosave function. I repeat Photoshop doesn't have an autosave option. What is life? and three hours of work :(
2. It's weird adjusting to a new body, I don't know. Just erm awkward... like my erm, never mind...
3. Errrr weight loss is expensive. I mean I bought these pants about 3weeks ago. they no longer fit :(
4. I need to compile my birthday wishlist. Yes! No excuses! Enough time for everyone to save and ish.
5. I've been listening to Lauryn hill all day and this song. THIS SONG I mean.
6. Today I was a Big girl. Cos Big girls don't cry. Sigh. My friend is moving.
7. I got the BEST gift in the mail yesterday. Like best. My sister friend Khafil got me a book "The Sunbirds faraway", I love books and I love that she always buys me books but she went the extra mile. She got it signed... not by the author which would have been nice, but not AMAZING... wait for it... She got it Signed by Asa AND Nneka! As in my favorite musicians, as in they wrote my name. Like. *faints*
8. When I finish reading, I will review and add the photos so you can see the beautiful notes they wrote me. squeeeeal.
9. I'm getting better in photoshop! raaaaaaar!!

Have an amazing weekend everyone!

Love and Happiness,

Sabirah!

Words I love

Maybe it's the way they sound, maybe it's the way they are written or spoken, or maybe it's the feelings they evoke. I don't know, but for some reason I love these English words.

It was pure happenstance, yet his clout over me was unnerving. Wanderlust had brought us together and in those moments of chaos I remembered the nuances that I adored. 

:)

31 Day reset- Recap!

So it's been about a week since I finished the Reset challenge and I just wanted to do a recap on all I did and learned. But first let me shout out my fellow reset challenge members. Thanks @NerdyChique for telling me about this, Kovie parker, Valerie and Tobi also joined and it was nice to have your support through the challenge. Go Ladies!!

I started the challenge very excited, I ended up using my regular journal for the entries and not the blue prayer book as I had planned. I also added Seal's "Love's Divine" to my theme songs!

I went back to the first "real" post "Day 3-  the "love letter to my future self". It made me smile so much to read it, out of all the things I set out to accomplish, I have done or I'm on my way to completing most of them. It's funny how I wasn't consciously trying to do them because of the challenge... I guess when you bring something to your awareness and what it means to you, the universe aligns with your plans as "M" says :). I inquired about the sewing class, I pushed past my weight stall, I've been making more use of my creative energy through different means e.g. lately I've been teaching myself how to use Photoshop, it's been a lot of information but it's fun, I made the above graphic in Photoshop nothing fancy just used it to practice text tools. So yeah I'm happy with all my accomplishments big and small :).

Some of my favorite posts were "Day 6 - personal mission statement " I need to print and display that somewhere in my room. I also looooved "Day 12 - Ideal life narrative" It made me giddy with excitement. I don't need to tell anyone how much fun I had doing "Day 17- 100 things that make you happy" all you have to do is see how long my list was. I'm happy that my list consists of simple little things, I'm happy that most of my list doesn't require a lot of money.

I didn't enjoy the difficult posts, Day 22 just plain annoyed me and then I started getting bored. It's important to push harder when the going gets tough. I did but bleh. Day 28 I still haven't done. Sigh. Day 30 I did with lots of enthusiasm, I was happy the challenge was coming to an end!

Overall I still encourage anyone who is considering it to take it. I know that I unlocked several things this past month and this is only the beginning. my plan is to re-evaluate in about 3 months and see where I am. Developing and becoming the best version of you is a life-long journey, one you should be comfortable with, enjoy and take seriously :)

Love always,
Sabirah

Music| You and I

This song just makes me happy  ^_^

don't you worry, there my honey 

we might not have any money but we've got our love to pay the bills...

31 Day reset - Day 31

Create A vision board!

It's the last day! whoop. I will do a re-cap tomorrow.

I already have a physical vision board, (though it's in storage at the moment) but it exists and I can't wait to update it
I also have a virtual one at https://pinterest.com/sabirah0/

Happy Tuesday!

Love always.
Sabirah

31 Day Reset - Day 30

Today's task is a bit morbid. *shudder* write your own Eulogy
What would you really want people to say about you when you die?
Here goes...


Sabirah, or Sab as she was fondly called by many was one with a big heart. She dedicated her life to making others lives better and it is evident with the amount of people here today. She discovered her creative traits early and expressed them in very many ways, from her various businesses to the craft classes she taught and hosted at her foundation for girls. 
While many people knew her as a giving person to people outside her circle, her family and friends described her as one of the most supportive and caring people they knew. She was thoughtful and always remembered to bring a small gift from her travels all over the world.
Her love for cooking made her house a favorite place for everyone as there was always something new and exciting to try in her warm kitchen. She and her husband enjoyed entertaining and their parties were always one to remember.
She left every place a little better than she met it and will be remembered for her infectious laugh, her fun positive attitude and always having a kind word to say. She touched many lives and will be greatly missed. Her legacy will live on though as she donated much of her savings to her foundation for girls and running the joint vocational school. We will miss her but just like she would have wanted us to, today we will not mourn but we will celebrate an amazing woman!


Have a great week ahead everyone
(wow challenge is almost done!)

Love always,
Sabirah.

Wanderlust...

Wanderlust : A strong innate desire to travel about
One of my top top favorite words! Right up there with happenstance.

Sometimes I'm scared I'll never find "home"...
The idea of home is a strange one. Is it where you've lived the longest; Lagos, or where you were born; New York, or where you first discovered who you were; San Francisco, or maybe where you realized you were enough; Florence,  or maybe It's where all the people you love are; Scattered all over the world. All I know is that I'm always longing for some place...

A couple of weeks ago I sent The partner a photo

Him :You look like the girl I fell in love with...

Me: O_o what does that mean? I'm no longer pretty ehn?

Him: No there's this radiance about you, you look happy, happier. Lagos took a lot from you and the stress got to you.

Me : Oh :(

 After the conversation I pondered over he said. I don't want to be happier here, I love the people in Lagos, my family and friends, and I love being in close proximity to them, but here I have easy access to the things that feed my creative energy and make me happy. The stress, the air and Lagos in general is too much for me and leaves me drained mostly.

Someone suggested I would Like Abuja, and I quite like Calabar . The partner says we should run away to Ghana. lol! Maybe I'll always be looking for home, at least I have someone who will wander with me...

Buon' Weekend!
Sabirah

31 Day Reset - Day 29

Create a bucket list
If I had 6 months to live... all the things I'd like to do, see or accomplish.

Erm If I had six months to live I'd eat really good cake everyday. OK i'm kidding. not really.

1. Visit every state and tourist attraction in Nigeria
2. Be completely fluent in Italian
3. Go skydiving
4. Learn to swim X_X
5. re-learn how to ride a bike
6. Dye my hair red
7. Visit India
8. Have a one on one Jam session with Nneka
9. Get pregnant  Ooops they said six months :s
10. Learn the tango
11. Throw my mom a surprise party
12. Go on a family vacation
13. Explore California with the partner
14. Make something special for everyone I love
15. Act in a movie/stage play
16. Run a marathon
17. Have a family portrait done
18. ...

OK here's the deal, not sure where this list is going, but to be really honest If I had only 6months to live I wouldn't be running around the world trying to finish a bucket list, I'd be at home with the people that matter, doesn't mean I won't have fun, but that's where i'm happiest and every moment is precious.

Love always,

Sabirah

31 Day rest - Day 28

Let go of the past.
Ermmm can I get a rain check
I promise to come back to this in no more than 4 weeks. Promise.
I'm just not ready right now.

Thursday Tidbits

Wooohooooo It's Thursday!

1. Boo hoo I'm working all weekend
2. Sigh OK I'll admit, I got a bit bored with the reset challenges, I've been doing them but just not putting my all like before. Could you tell? I will do better.
3. My faith keeps getting tested, something I was really counting on fell through today. I was sad but I'm trying hard to remain faithful.
4. It is HOT!
5. I haven't cooked in a week... I don't know life has been weird lately.
6. I'm really homesick. My dad called me today and I just burst into tears, didn't let him know though.
7. It's really hard to "un-care" for someone. When they call you in the middle of the night about to drunk drive you will still be mad as hell and stay on the phone for however long it takes till they are home safe. Because you care. 
8. I just realized a lot of these sound whiny. I'm not a whiny person. In fact I'm quite the opposite.
9. I'm really thankful for my healthy body. Super thankful.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love always,

Sabirah.

31 Day reset- Day 27

I've slacked on my challenge tasks :(

I did this one on the day of sha.

It was "Revive your love life"

Ermmm all the things i'd have liked to do were impossible because of the damn atlantic ocean.

So I wrote a love letter. cos I enjoy those :)

Love always,
Sabirah

Music | Efya

The first time I ever heard of Efya was when I stumbled upon this video of her and Dipo freestyling

(I will probably do a post on Dipo's awesomeness when I return to Lagos, He's my friend :) so maybe we can get up close and personal for la bella ). OK back to Efya, so this amazing woman. I have been sleeping on her music! What! If you read this blog and didn't share *side-eye*... I mean all you have to do read my music tagged posts to know she's right up my alley. I mean that blend of Afro-beat, afro-pop, jazz soul is everythiiiing! I love it

I came across this video and got goosebumps! I mean she gave Whitney's I will always love you a brand new twist. Refreshing, original and beautiful. Love her original songs "cigarette" (the first one) and the last one "Nothing"(last one) just as much. I love her powerful soul not-trying-too-hard voice, and the way she infuses Twi (I think) into her songs, she's Ghanaian :)
Enjoy!

And one more for the road

She's amazing!

Love always,
Sabirah

31 day reset - Day 26

Make a new friend

The person should be in your community of support, someone who is like-minded and can hel you achieve your goals.

Funny how this friend "came to me" she keeps saying, "you're amazing and I was drawn to you" which can be creepy but somehow I get it. She is someone I work with, much older than I am but I already see her as a friend, a mentor and someone I will learn a lot from the upcoming months.

She and I have talked about everything from self development (especially that) to relationships to character building all the way down to clean eating. since we started having our DMCs (Deep meaningful conversations) I've been saying a prayer for here everyday, thanking God for bringing her into my life. It was truly like magic.

Here's a Toast to my new friend!

Cheers!

Love always,
Sabirah.

31 day reset -Day 23, 24, 25

I decided to keep Day 23 in my journal, it's quite lengthy and involves information i'm not willing/ready to share.

Day 24 was a day of rest and reflection, also in my journal. been writing quite a bit.

Day 25- Find a community to support your goals - working on it. Detailed updates soon.


Love always!
Sabirah

On Maintaining Relationships.

Over the last 2 days I've emailed 6 friends, Called 2, texted 5, emailed 3 former employers, sent a card to an old colleague, called an aunt and emailed 2 cousins and one professor; This list doesn't include the friends I talk to every couple of days via bbm, phone or text. And I still have people I need to contact

How do I deal?

Over the last year between graduating, going to Italy -> California -> Lagos and now back to California, I feel like I've left a string of relationships all over the place. Relationships I can't seem to properly manage. For example, my college friends who I love so dearly; these people were the ones I cried to when I slaved all week on a paper and still got a B, or when that relationship ended. They were the ones I cooked for every weekend, the ones who stayed with me the thanksgiving I had nowhere to go...

How about my former employers? The ones who gave me an opportunity, and taught me, corrected me and encouraged me, the ones who still agree to be my references? Or cousins, who I have lost touch with but still share about 12% of my DNA. Or friends who may not be so close but I still know I will cry at their weddings and still stay on the phone with them for three hours when they need to cry.

Or my new friends who I've know only a short while but it seems like an eternity... The list is endless, these relationships may not be my closest, as close as before or geographically close but all these people mean something to me and are an important part of my existence.

My question is how do you manage? I know at some point in my life I was on top of it, monthly check-in's for some, bi-weekly check-ins for others and for some just a "hello hope you're well" once every 6 months and a "happy birthday, God bless you" once every year. But somehow I lost it, and I don't know how to get it back. I know that saying "20 friends cannot play together for 20 years", and I understand it. This isn't a matter of "friendship". From casual acquaintances to work networks... These are relationships I don't want to just fizz out, some will I understand, but I want to do my part to make sure some don't.

And I'm drowning.

Help.

31 day reset - Day 22

Start a side hustle.

Na so?
Na so e easy reach?

OK I shouldn't have this attitude but really though, aunty rosetta chill now, lol. Ermm I kinda already have one across the ocean and I guess I should be working on reviving it.

So despite being away and having extremely limited (monetary) resources, I used my most valuable resource- my brain- and spent the day writing up ideas, reading and researching.

It's kinda frustrating to see everything at my disposal and not be able to access it. Sigh. For now I'll continue fine tuning ideas and plans and surely something will fall into place and get things in motion. Till then i'll just stay inspired and keep doing what I can with what I have.

Love always,
Sabirah.

31 day reset - Day 21

Stop complaining for 24 hours

Replace every complaint with gratitude.

This one was a piece of cake; in case you haven't already noticed I'm not much of a complainer so yeah.

I have an exam tomorrow. I'm tired of studying.

My last post was my 99th :) My favorite number is 9, because I like numbers divisible by 3... you get my drift.
That also makes this my 100th. yipee! chocolate cake for all.
Did I mention I was tired? Maybe we can celebrate for real @ 105 or something...

Love always,
Sabirah

31 Day Reset - Day 19 & 20

Day 19's task was to get rid of stuff we don't need. As most of you know I just came from Nigeria two months ago and brought the bare necessities so I have no clutter to get rid of

Day 20's task was to remove Negative people from our lives; I did a clean sweep last year and about a week ago I deleted my twitter. Negativity gone :)

That's all

Love always.
Sabirah

31 day reset - Day 18

Today's task was to develop a self care plan
"Your self-care plan will be your guide for the next week of getting back in tune with your inner and outer self. It should help you become more mindful about your thoughts, as well as what you put into your body"


So if you know anything about me you'll know I've been "Self-caring" lol, for a while now, My physical and mental wellness have been top priority in my life lately and I'm very happy about that. My spiritual health is developing at a steady pace as well and I feel great about that. For this week here are some of my goals in relation to Self care.

• Wake up and get up at 7- Quiet time/ meditation for an hour
• Drink more water
• Be mindful about my thought patterns and let my inner voice be positive.
• Find out about seeing a gynecologist.  >_< necessary evil. lol.

Love always,

Sabirah

More Weightloss Stories

It's been almost 6 weeks since my last update! Time does fly! Woosh!
I stepped up my work out game big time and I love it, I've been doing a combination of high cardio exercises like TRX, Trekking and Zumba; Strength and core exercises like Yoga and pilates and a good dose of weight lifting every now and then. Apart from this past week (i should do a separate post maybe), I went hard the last couple of weeks; very minimal cheating on my diet and working out 6days a week. It's was awesome.

I am absolutely in love with Yoga and Pilates, listen if you can find a class, DVD or whatever, get it! I initially started going to the classes not thinking about them as workout classes but for relaxation but I was misinformed. Sure they are not as fast paced or high energy as Zumba but the concentration and strength required to move gracefully from pose to pose is definitely WORK. I love the way i feel long and lean after Pilates, all my muscles well stretched out and my abs nice and tight ahhh. And yoga? The feeling after is just great and seeing myself get better, more fluid and stronger class after class is amazing. So yeah those are my faves!

Got this from M's blog :D They all weigh 150 pounds (UK dress sizes)

My scale and I have a love hate relationship, while it's nice to see the numbers go down sometimes I just want physical results, one thing I've definitely learned so far is that our bodies hold weight differently (see picture above). It's the reason I will never say "OMG I want her body". I can admire but I know that my shape and tone will be unique. The focus is on being fit and healthy and honest with myself. I know that I'm never going to be an hour-glass and I'm completely fine with that. I still weigh myself about every two weeks or so but focusing on how my body feels my endurance levels and sometimes how clothes fit.

If you're on a weight loss Journey keep at it! Be kind to yourself, love where you are now and enjoy it. Compare your body only to yours- (p.s it's OK to take nudes for this purpose hehehe) and appreciate your progress no matter how slow. Be accountable and work hard. Discipline is everything.

Love always,
Sabirah

31 day reset- Day 17

Today's task. 100 things that make me happy!!Whoop. fun fun fun. That was the whole purpose of this blog so here we go. In no particular order.

1. Family
2. Close Friends
3. Yoga
4. Exercising
5. Eating great food
6. Cooking great food for myself and others
7. The partner
8. Posting on this blog
9. travelling 
10. Exploring new things
11. Pretty stationery - Cards and note cards especially blank ones
12. crafting - Making things with my hands- Soap, headbands, earrings, cards
13. DMCs - Deep Meaningful conversations
14. Candles
15. Flowers that don't make me sneeze
16. Neo Soul music
17. Afrobeat
18. Karaoke
19. Hosting brunches
20. Playing Taboo
21. Playing "concentration"
22. Sweet cocktails
23. Dressing up
24. Natural hair
25. Afros!!
26. Watching movies based on old english novels- Pride and prejudice, Jane Eyre etc
27. Spending the day at the beach
28. Day trips
29. Photography
30. Going to museums
31. My Leather journal
32. Spending time with loved ones
33. Salads
34. Home
35. Giving gifts
36. Receiving gifts
37. Taking long baths
38. washing my hair
39. Drinking tea
40. Dancing
41. volunteering
42. Smell of pastry
43. Books- real books made with paper
44. The smell of old books
45. Music from Baba himself, Anikulapo!
46. My daddy's singing
47. My mom's laugh
48. My brother's jokes
49. Jewellery
50. Thrift stores
51. Pretty bras that fit
52. sexy undergarments
53. Lipstick
54. Farmer's markets
55. flea markets
56. Gummy worms
57. Good wine
58. Sunshine
59. Rain
60. Thunder
61. Live music
62. Cafes 
63. Road trips
64. Singing in the car
65. Massages
66. Doing my nails myself
67. Sun dresses
68. kisses
69. Chocolate
70. hugs
71. butterfly kisses
72. vanilla flavored and scented things
73. Strawberries
74. Mangoes
75. Agbalumo
76. Balsamic vinegar
77. Being in Love
78. Sunday mornings
79. Pancakes and Perfect scrambled eggs
80. Strong women
81. Pretty food
82. Reading
83. Fashion
84. Italy, Italian culture.
85. intimate Wedding decor, planning, attire.
86. Men's Fashion and stylish men
87. The color green
88. Pictures
89. The color coral
90. Interior Decor
91. Love quotes from old books and movies... and poetry
92. Soft serve ice-cream
93. Boy shorts
94. Lifting weights
95. Smiling
96. Saying "Thank you"
97. Jazz music
98. Fluffy comfy beds
99. Long train rides.
100. Leather satchels and briefcases
101. Classic shoes
102. My quiet time
103. 101. Luxurious bath items- soap, bath bombs, lotions
104. Bookstores
105. Tiramisu
106. Chocolate cake
107. The smell of coffee
108. Independent and foreign films
109. Book readings
110. Being on time
111. Warm nights on roof tops
112. Lights, sparkly lights, pretty light at night.
113. washing my hands
114. Glasses
115. Male feminists
116. Sade Adu
117. Nneka
118. Dialogue
119. Sunday brunch
120. Numbers divisible by 3.

I am an alaseju (doing the most) I couldn't stop at 100... and I could still go on, but yeah see what I did with that last one? ;)

I enjoyed this task! So much fun, even if you aren't doing the 31 day reset(which you should totally do) you can do this task! just for fun, if you do let me know/see!

Love,

Sabirah

Buon' weekend!

31 day reset - Day 16

So Day 16 was a day of rest and reflection. Remember how I had planned to do Day 15? Well that was a fail because my body decided to turn on me. I had the Godfather of cramps yesterday and between crying in agony and puking out the entire contents of my stomach (green bile inclusive) [sorry for the graphic visuals]. Isn't it lovely being a woman?
I was basically in a semi-conscious state. I spent my whole day in bed and I actually succeeded in not using the internet until the end of the day when I was finally awake, tired and not sleepy.
I watched a movie. "A room with a view" I enjoyed it.
I guess it wasn't a complete fail, just that I didn't get to do any of the cleaning I had hoped to.

Ah well. health first.
I feel much better today, minimal pain.

Lets see what Day 17 has in store!

Love,
Sabirah