Photo Friday : Nneka

Because I just spoke about her and she's always on my mind. Here are some photos of her I love

Such a beauty.

Sigh.

Thursday tidbits

Hey y'all!!! (I will explain this in a bit)

1) I explored today (aka walked miles in search of an interesting grocery store) and came upon this wonderous(is this a word?spell check thinks not) place. Guess what I bought, Chicken, Catfish and Goatmeat!!
2) I'm happy, this may or may not be related to the above
3) I love being in school it's just... awesome
4) Oh so I said "Hey y'all" because I've acquired a Texan accent from watching GCB. It's such a bad drama filled addictive show. guilty pleasure
5) Cooking has been the only thing keeping me sane these days, I've been writing my recipes and waiting to get my camera so I can share ^_^
6) Do you have a Pinterest? No clue what it is? Read this <--- very good description
7) Well I'm on pinterest, you can see my boards at https://pinterest.com/sabirah0/ I'm obviously obsessed with wedding decor and planning!
8) The weather in California is just odd, hopefully it's nice enough to go to the beach this weekend :)
9) You're awesome.

Buon' weekend a tutti!
Sabirah

Music | On Repeat...

As you may already know my favorite music genres are Afrobeat, soul (neo), some jazz and RnB. I listen to almost everything (I love my Pop, MJ anyone?) excluding most rap and I'll dance to whatever moves my spirit but when it's alone time those 4 categories are my go-to.


Also as you may or may not know Nneka is probably my favorite Nigerian artist, I am her stan. Borderline obsessed. I actually buy her music (this is a big deal). She just touches me deep down in my soul. I really can't explain it. She's not everyone's cup of tea and I respect that. When "Soul is Heavy" came out I was on it like white on rice.
The first track I heard before the release of the album was Valley, and as usual it made me cry. Sigh. raw pure emotion. Beautiful.





Lyrics:
we know great things start small, and narrow parts are always rugged, 
in between those bridges, 
you find my love, 
though it is hard to believe me, for everything around you, 
confuses your mind, 
for you're stuck, 
in the lies of your past, 
oh deep down, 
beyond the surface of ur humble heart,
you long for my passion you long for love,
baby wouldn't you walk with me, the long way,
darling wouldn't you take my hand,
for I know not where to go, oh without you this world doesn't make sense...


Then when I got I got her album I got stuck on "Restless" She's just...

I'm restless, in my dreams I long for you
I'm careless with the things I own because of you
Speechless for all that we had is what we disregard now
Feel emptiness

You have had enough,
But this time I see the truth
You don't need me no more
You don't need me no more
om/lyrics/n/nneka/restless.html ]
I'm restless 'cos you don't love me like I love you
I'm restless 'cos my love just ain't coming through
Tell me how can your love gather so much of hate
Tell me how can you love, when we do not practice what we preach
Did we forget all we have been through
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of light you brought through...
There is now darkness surrounding my world
There is now darkness surrounding my world
If you don't come now, Lord, if you don't come now, I'll die...


Hope you enjoy... she is something wonderful.
I can't wait to finally see her in concert. I know I will be a hot crying mess but it will be worth it.
P.s. I'm feeling better. Thanks for all your kind words. comments, tweets and emails.

Love,
Sab.

Happiness and Some changes...

So I'm in California again! Surprise, well not so surprising for some people, but yeah yaay! I'm here. I really didn't want to make a big fuss about it because it was a difficult decision but yeah I'm here and it's OK. I'm taking some courses in psychology that will help with my applications to grad school because I've been thinking about it again. I'm so confused. Some random lady told me that your 20's are the best time of your life... If so it needs to get better really quickly.

The first thing everyone says when I tell them I'm in California is "What about the partner" Lol. And I reply "Yeah what about him" aka we're good. Of course going from living 10mins away to 10,000 kilometers (almost) (catchy name for a book eh? don't steal it! :p) away is not a piece of cake but you gotta do what you gotta do right?

My happiness has been fleeting the past couple of weeks and I've been going through terrible bouts of sadness. I miss home so much, I miss my mom, dad and brother (I left the day after he returned from school :( ) I miss my friends the partner inclusive and I feel terribly lonely. I miss Lagos hustle and bustle, I miss my students and I just don't really want to be here right now. I'm a generally happy person as you probably know so feeling this way has really left me unsettled and it takes a conscious effort to look on the brighter side.

And there is a lot of "the brighter side" like having fast internet, and 24hour electricity and dependable public transportation lol (the little things) or the big things like being privileged to have parents who care for you and support you -friends too, having a roof over your head and great health, being able to sit in a classroom and learn and be inspired all over again (this is a wonderful thing- I love my classes). So yes there is so much to be thankful for, I'm aware, but it's still been a struggle to be happy.

One of my classes is titled "Psychology of Adjustment" How apt right? I'm learning a great deal about myself and my personality and maintaining a balance. It's been really helpful. I will probably share some info in my next post. I've been trying the to do the things that make me happy like exploring my favorite city San Francisco- went there yesterday and I felt a whole lot better- And trying not to brood or wallow in self pity. I definitely feel better already.

As always I'm thankful for this space, the people that read and respect it, it is my safe place so thank you.
Have a great week ahead,
Love, Sabirah

Book Review | Egg-Larva-Pupa-Woman - Ogo Akubue-Ogbata

So I've been wanting to do Book reviews here since forever but I've let a lot of things stop me, mainly fear but since this is a lifestyle blog and a big part of my life is reading, I'm throwing caution to the wind and doing it anyways. Thank you Ritzy for the encouragement ;)
First up; Ogo Akubue-Ogbata's debut novel, Egg-Larva-Pupa-Woman.

I decided to buy this book on Amazon after reading an excerpt on Bellanaija. I started reading this book on a road trip from Davis to Los Angeles. The drive was about 7 hours long with me alternating between sleeping and reading. I finished the book before the ride was over.

My friend who was driving would ask me every once in a while if I was OK as she saw me crying over the novel. It was that good.

The novel is follows Nkiru, the heroine's struggles and later triumphs through her life. It is particularly interesting as it seamlessly blends the political climate of the time with the story of a young woman quest for survival and finding herself. It is set in Nigeria, and later takes us to Sierra Leone, Uganda and Britain, I love historical references and stories of the 60's in Nigeria so this was particularly interesting for me. The colonial era and early post-colonial eras have been romanticised so much in my head. 

Nkiru is a privileged young girl who loses her parents young and is sent off to live with relatives after. She and her sister are separated and what happens thereafter is a series of life changing experiences, she manages to survive not completely unscathed but a better and stronger woman.

There are so many themes in this Novel but the strongest for me were Forgiveness, Love and Triumph. I really enjoyed this because in a lot of African literature the suffering usually overshadows a lot. The novel taught me a lot about Forgiveness and freedom through love and the journey towards finding oneself. There was a good dose of romance in here too that made me smile.

Maybe it was where I was at that point in my life- in 3days I was about to travel to Italy on my own for 6weeks, a journey towards learning myself as well- but this novel really moved me. I enjoyed it immensely so much so that I gifted it to the next person I came into contact with in Italy.

It wasn't only a Great read, it is a book I will buy again and keep on my shelf for years to come.

So how was my first review?

Have you read the book? how was it for you?

If not are you interested?


Love, 
Sabirah.

This Diet thing and other weight loss stories

The other day on twitter, someone tweeted "I love my body" and then I "retweeted" it (this means to quote the person). After I did I wondered if seemed hypocritical? After all, I was on a diet... I had this sudden urge to explain myself but I decided against it. 140 characters is never quite enough,so I'll explain myself here. I love my body. I love it, and this is precisely why I'm on a diet, because I want my body to be healthier and stronger and leaner (lower fat percentage). So this dieting (and exercising) comes from a place of love, to better myself and this body that has served me for over 20 years. I've mentioned that it's part of a lifestyle change, although it's pretty strict right now, I will be carrying a lot of this information into my life forever.

It's always so funny when I tell my friend i'm on a diet and they give me the lecture "Oh I don't believe in diets, just eat right and workout yada yada" I usually explain the top paragraph to them and then add that for the most part I was already doing those things, and that's what you do to maintain weight. If I had been binge-eating fast-food prior to this then that would make a difference but I wasn't so yeah.

OK does the above qualify as a rant? I'm sorry if it did, just needed to get that out. As far as progress I'm doing great! It's weird to see my body changing slowly. eg
1) I no longer have a triple chin. No i'm serious I had one -when I pressed my face into my neck, does that count?- When I do it now I only have two and when my face is normal, just one pointy chin. I'm being silly. I have just one chin and a leaner face
2) Boobs. No. Change. At. All. In fact, they grew bigger, notice I didn't say "appear" bigger. I am sure that they grew because I need new bras. Sigh. woe is me. I kid, I love le boobies!
3) I no longer have a butt. I knew this day would come but it's so hard, I shall be dropping squats everyday to build my gluteus maximus. I'm exaggerating, I still have a medium small butt. *drops 25 squats*  (do they work?)
4)Everything else looks good, the love handles are going, they shall be missed! Yhe stomach shall not be missed! hello abs!

Do you have a weightloss story? are you trying to get in shape?
Tell me about your healthy(or not) lifestyle! I want to know!

Love,
Sabirah

This teaching thing (part 2)

I've talked about me teaching here before so if you haven't read that post I encourage you to.

My experience with teaching has been bitter-sweet. If you follow my tweets you probably noticed that during the school term I tweeted about my students a lot. They made me happy, angry, frustrated excited and on two separate occasions they made me cry.  I love giving them hugs (finally got used to it) and their constant washing  compliments "Miss Sabirah you are so beautiful, we love your earrings".

Unfortunately teaching isn't just about the students, it's about the organization, bureaucracy, politics and power struggles, and a heavy dose of ass kissing. Now a lot of people know the school I worked at but please this is not a direct jab at them, I'm thankful for the opportunity they gave me. I have had the experience of teaching at other schools so I'm being honest about the system in general.

Among the very many reasons I decided I wanted to teach was that I'm a creative person, I love trying new things, working on fresh ideas and putting a spin on old things, it reflects in almost all the things I do in my life. My belief was that teaching would be another outlet for my creative energy since I was beginning to feel stifled in Lagos. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, before I got hired, I was asked what I could change and what kind of ideas I would bring to the school. I gave a few examples in the interview and got really excited, when the time came to implement them it was just obstacle upon obstacle. It quickly became frustrating.

Then there was this communication gap between the administration and the teaching staff, we (they) were overworked (this left me being a substitute teacher for classes I wasn't prepared for) and their ideas or recommendations didn't seem attended to or even valued. It was weird in my position because since I was new I had good relations with the admin but then I felt like I had to pick a side. A school is an organization where everybody HAS to be working together. When communication is strained things start to fall apart, dissatisfaction seeps in and productivity diminishes no?

Of course all of this going on makes it difficult to work, some days it just became a drag on others a power struggle. Let me say though that the students got excellent grades and won competitions constantly. So maybe all this was just a means to an end. I don't know. I just wish it was different. A lot of things I ran away from in the corporate work place just came to meet me here. Teaching at the public school was different because since I was volunteering my time I had a lot of freedom. and ohh the things I accomplished. Truly thankful for that experience and for this one too. Everything is a learning experience and i'm grateful for that.

Quite a bit has changed and I will give updates at my own pace of course.

Till then,
Happy Holidays.
Sabirah.

Thursday Tidbits

Halllllo
It's Thursday and things are happening, I will update in my next post. Here are my tidbits

1. I've felt really connected with my spirituality this week. Maybe because I was going through a bit and for once I completely believed that God would take care of me and he did? I don't know... I just felt a great sense of calm. Great feeling.
2. I really want to publish book reviews here, I read so many amazing books I feel it's bad not to share, but I'm shy :( i'm not a literature critic or anything. tips?
3. Fear is my no1 problem like overall. And I'm learning how to deal with it finally. More on this Later.
4. I tweeted this on tuesday "Ex boyfriends are the devil... flee" I stand by my statement.
5. Speaking of twitter, it seems it's beginning to annoy me more than entertain or interest me nowadays, not sure how to explain. I need to reduce and also change how I use it. Spend more time here :)
6. Why are so many African books sooo sad. like weeping and ruining the pages of the book sad. Sigh I guess that's just the way it is.
7. Oooooh finally got my new glasses. <3 (sorry for the bad photo, bad webcam + low lighting)

8. That's all folks!

Buon Weekend!!

Love,

Sab