Hey! I want to marry my best friend too!

So you can blame this post on Bellanaija weddings, recently saw a post that was oozing love! The husband mentioned several times that he was so happy and lucky to have married his best friend and I thought huh, I want that...

Here's the thing, when I started dating my partner, it was a very short moment of friendship, just so happened that we both wanted something more, and jumped right into it. We started off really as partners, in fact we ran into some problems later when we discovered that we really had to build a solid friendship in addition to our romantic relationship. And while I can confidently say we are good friends now, I can't say he is my best friend.

Looking at the relationships I have with those I call my best friends, I can say they are made up of a mix of many different things; A shared history, mutual trust, love, similar interests, memories and a looooot of time. Of course some of these factors are dependent on one another, I mean you can't really create a shared history if you haven't had a lot of time to do it...

So I'm asking, how important is it for your partner to be your "Best friend"? What does that even mean? Is it just another label? Can it be cultivated? If yes, what are the secret ingredients?- I'm thinking time and patience, at least that's what we are working with ;)


Share your thoughts!

Love always,
Sabirah :)

9 p.m.

It's 9 p.m. and my brother has just fallen asleep on my lap, we were watching the good wife  together till the sound of his soft snoring interrupted. I lightly touched his face, his jaw-line and his chin where soft tufts of hair were starting to grow. I love this kid, boy, almost-man. This moment reminds me of when he was first born, I couldn't get over how fast and how much he slept. I feel protective of him in this moment, like I somehow want to teach him everything I know without telling him explicitly, because he would be too proud to listen.

In this same moment, I feel a pang of pain, I'm often mean to him. Yesterday I said some harsh things, over something petty, like cleaning up after himself. I can't help it, we are different but also so similar. I want to control him, but just so I can protect him from what's ahead, but he wont have anything of it; again, pride. He is growing, forming his own ideas, having opinions, talking back. And I am here, helpless, bickering, yelling and being the older sister, essentially baiting. I want to be better. To be mature.

But I'm realizing something, I seem to be most unkind to those I love.
Is this normal?
Or are we just most critical of those we love...
Or maybe we spend so much time with them and they see us for who we truly are?
Or maybe...
I don't know, what do you think?

Love always,
Sabirah.

Hey, 24 looks good on you

Good morning! It is the Sunday after my birthday and I'm feeling good :) Thanks to everyone who sent some love my way.

I woke up to my mum rubbing my back and whispering prayers into my ear and I promise you, that's one of the best things in this world. My day was very chill, I was home with my family and partner and we just ate and watched multiple episodes of "The Good Wife" - yooooo how come no one told me about this show? I love it-. I was pretty upbeat in the morning enjoying the phone calls and just relaxing... then power went out...

The calls kept coming in and my mood started to drop, everybody kept asking "Where the party at" "Where is the cake?" "Is there rice at your house?" As soon as the pattern became clear I began discouraging people from coming over because I really hadn't made any plans.

I realized in Nigeria, your birthday is not a day for you to be showered with presents and goodwill. It's a day for you to celebrate (AKA show your friends and family a good time) and entertain. In fact, saying you didn't have anything planned meant that though you might not be bringing out the champagne, there would be rice and chicken and small chops for anyone who stopped by.

I guess we live and learn, later that evening my partner took me out to dinner at La Mango in GRA Ikeja, I had read about it on the lovely Kene's blog, post here (it was a great review, go have a look, I love her blog!) and I wanted to check it out.

 Obligatory silly picture, because we are like that

 We opted for the Thai menu, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much they had to offer.

 Sorry I only remembered to take a photo of our appetizers after we had finished eating them, hey, we were hungry and they were yummy.

 The strobe lighting was really distracting, in fact we had to ask them to turn off the one beside me. Also they were playing really loud Nigerian dance music and we could barely talk and eat. Next time I go there will definitely be in the daytime.

 Hey! A for presentation (minus those straggly lettuce leaves), Pineapple fried rice

 Seafood stir fry

 Pad Thai

 Prawn yellow curry

The food was tasty, really flavorful and all but it just didnt have that authentic Thai taste I love, I will visit the restaurant again, but opt for a different place if I'm craving Thai.

So all in all it was a good day, thankful for another year. Hey, 24 looks good on me!

Love always,

Sabirah!

Birthday Blues!

Hurraaaay it's August!

(source)

And it's my birthday in a few days, Saturday to be precise, and I've got the birthday blues. I don't know, I'm just not excited and I usually am.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful for my life and God's grace. Very very thankful. 

This is the first birthday I'll be spending with my family in over 7years. All the past years whether I had a quiet birthday or a gathering, I always planned it myself since I lived on my own, now that I'm with family, I was kinda expecting something but it doesn't look promising. lol. I know i'll still have a good day regardless of what happens, but right now I feel so bleh.

Also ASOS cancelled my order for no damn reason (first time ordering anything from Nigeria >_<) so my birthday present to myself is no longer existent. Sigh. There are so many major things I'm praying for and expectant of that I guess it's weighing down  my excitement a bit.

I hope I snap out of it by tomorrow.

Love,

Sab.