Before me, who were you Mommy?

So I was snooping around my Friend M's blog and found this video which led to a series of thoughts and reflections.

[You do not have to watch the video to get the gist of the post, just to show you my inspiration/ thought process, if you do watch the video can I just comment on how beautiful their relationship is and how emotionally mature willow is!! Like what?? I know many grown men (yes I am throwing shaaade) who are not even close to this level. I've always admired {the little I know of} their parenting]


I've written about my relationship with my mother here before and all sorts of feelings about it. Fast forward to a year and some months after I wrote that post I wonder if I've learned much about her. She has gone through some pretty big changes in the past 2years so I was busy keeping up with that and didn't have much opportunity to delve into who she was before me.

I don't have any pictures of her before me. I'm jealous of you folks that have those "old school photos" of your parents before you came along. I can piece together random bits and bobs from stories my Grandma and her siblings have told me. In SS1 my Grandma sent her away to a village secondary school near abeokuta because she wouldn't focus and was always playing (this story always cracks me up). She was a runner in college, that's how she met my dad, she went to his university to compete. She was feisty and would pick fights with any and everyone, she always fought for her siblings even when they didn't want her to... aaaand that's about it! They say her smile and her laugh are still exactly the same. As for my grandma all I know is that she had a book shop when my mom was little and that's why my mom reads and writes so much. How I would love to dig! I'm going to definitely ask them when next we are all together.

My Dad on the other hand. Mahn I know a lot about him. In fact people alwaaaays want to tell me about my dad (my mom and I keep begging him to write a book). I had the privilege of sitting next to a man that used to know my father on a flight from Dubai to Lagos. In fact after I had introduced myself he couldn't come to terms with the fact that I was my father's daughter. He asked me several times in his hausa accented English "Are you sure?" "I just can't believe it" After he got over it I asked him why he was so shocked (even though I knew what was coming)
"Hmmm your father, every bad thing I did in secondary school was because of him, he was my junior but he scared me and made me so excited. He made us smoke they caught us and he disappeared." "He taught me how to drive, he used to sneak the car out of the house mid-night by pushing it manually" "Hmmm your father! who married him?"
"Erm my mother?" I replied laughing
A lot of this wasn't new to me.

I could go on for days but I'll wrap it up, My dad carries most of that energy with him still, he still sings like everyone says he did. He still smokes (he has promised that this year is his last we'll see) He still knows how to make a party out of nothing. I think my knowing all these things about him our relationship stronger and make him easy to understand, and easy to understand myself. I'm happy just like him, I draw good energy and I'm highly creative just like him, I love to sing too (though I'm no Adele I can carry a tune) I'm not half as adventurous but I find less risky ways to find my thrills.

Here is my question if you made it through. What do you know about your parents lives before you, before marriage? Who told you? Have they changed a lot? Do you see yourself in them?


Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Love always,
Sabirah.