So I'm in California again! Surprise, well not so surprising for some people, but yeah yaay! I'm here. I really didn't want to make a big fuss about it because it was a difficult decision but yeah I'm here and it's OK. I'm taking some courses in psychology that will help with my applications to grad school because I've been thinking about it again. I'm so confused. Some random lady told me that your 20's are the best time of your life... If so it needs to get better really quickly.
The first thing everyone says when I tell them I'm in California is "What about the partner" Lol. And I reply "Yeah what about him" aka we're good. Of course going from living 10mins away to 10,000 kilometers (almost) (catchy name for a book eh? don't steal it! :p) away is not a piece of cake but you gotta do what you gotta do right?
My happiness has been fleeting the past couple of weeks and I've been going through terrible bouts of sadness. I miss home so much, I miss my mom, dad and brother (I left the day after he returned from school :( ) I miss my friends the partner inclusive and I feel terribly lonely. I miss Lagos hustle and bustle, I miss my students and I just don't really want to be here right now. I'm a generally happy person as you probably know so feeling this way has really left me unsettled and it takes a conscious effort to look on the brighter side.
And there is a lot of "the brighter side" like having fast internet, and 24hour electricity and dependable public transportation lol (the little things) or the big things like being privileged to have parents who care for you and support you -friends too, having a roof over your head and great health, being able to sit in a classroom and learn and be inspired all over again (this is a wonderful thing- I love my classes). So yes there is so much to be thankful for, I'm aware, but it's still been a struggle to be happy.
One of my classes is titled "Psychology of Adjustment" How apt right? I'm learning a great deal about myself and my personality and maintaining a balance. It's been really helpful. I will probably share some info in my next post. I've been trying the to do the things that make me happy like exploring my favorite city San Francisco- went there yesterday and I felt a whole lot better- And trying not to brood or wallow in self pity. I definitely feel better already.
As always I'm thankful for this space, the people that read and respect it, it is my safe place so thank you.
Have a great week ahead,
Love, Sabirah
The first thing everyone says when I tell them I'm in California is "What about the partner" Lol. And I reply "Yeah what about him" aka we're good. Of course going from living 10mins away to 10,000 kilometers (almost) (catchy name for a book eh? don't steal it! :p) away is not a piece of cake but you gotta do what you gotta do right?
My happiness has been fleeting the past couple of weeks and I've been going through terrible bouts of sadness. I miss home so much, I miss my mom, dad and brother (I left the day after he returned from school :( ) I miss my friends the partner inclusive and I feel terribly lonely. I miss Lagos hustle and bustle, I miss my students and I just don't really want to be here right now. I'm a generally happy person as you probably know so feeling this way has really left me unsettled and it takes a conscious effort to look on the brighter side.
And there is a lot of "the brighter side" like having fast internet, and 24hour electricity and dependable public transportation lol (the little things) or the big things like being privileged to have parents who care for you and support you -friends too, having a roof over your head and great health, being able to sit in a classroom and learn and be inspired all over again (this is a wonderful thing- I love my classes). So yes there is so much to be thankful for, I'm aware, but it's still been a struggle to be happy.
One of my classes is titled "Psychology of Adjustment" How apt right? I'm learning a great deal about myself and my personality and maintaining a balance. It's been really helpful. I will probably share some info in my next post. I've been trying the to do the things that make me happy like exploring my favorite city San Francisco- went there yesterday and I felt a whole lot better- And trying not to brood or wallow in self pity. I definitely feel better already.
As always I'm thankful for this space, the people that read and respect it, it is my safe place so thank you.
Have a great week ahead,
Love, Sabirah
