31 day reset day 4

Easy one today thank goodness.

Short and sweet. I'm dead tired again so i hope I didn't forget anything.

Things I value. In no order :)

Personal relationships

Life-long learning

Integrity

Healthy living(mental&physical)

Creativity

Love

Family

Making a positive impact

Financial freedom

Spirituality

Even if you're not doing the challenge I'd love to hear what some of the things you value are. 

Any contrasts?

Shout out to everyone participating (I wanted to comment on at least one post for everyone but I've been so busy :( please leave me a link if you're doing this somewhere online)

Love,

Sabirah.

31 day reset- Day 3

I've just gotten home from a really long day. i'm so tired. But no excuses, so here goes.
(Love letter to future self)

Dear Sabirah,

Well done! you started a challenge and finished it. I am immensely proud of you! This is only the beginning! You've started crafting and put more use to your creative energy, you've explored your surroundings and planned more day trips, you've even inquired about that sewing class you've been eyeing. You have found more ways to be creative with your cooking despite your constraints.

You've applied yourself to your new job fully and have made your self an invaluable asset to your company. You have observed and learnt very quickly and you have applied initiative. It's a wonder you barely started a month a go.

You've completed both your classes with an A grade and I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it all along. you've taken time to really consider which way you'd like to go and you have discussed it with all involved parties. You are closer to your dreams.

You have managed to save more than you expected and you have been extra thrifty! Well done! you have also looked for and maybe found another source of income. And you haven't had to worry about money in a while. That feels good doesn't it? Well done.

You overcame the stall in your weight as you continued to push yourself harder with new and varied exercises and sticking to your diet, you are much stronger now and your body is beginning to look nice and toned like you wanted. You also started reading and praying more often and you feel closer to God and more in touch with your spirituality. It hasn't been easy but you've pulled through because you are a trooper! You have focused on your mental wellness and continued to self care as needed.

You have begun to plan and set out a time for when you will go on vacation with your brother. You are excited about this plan as you will both get plenty of bonding time :)

You have done a lot of work in touching base with your friends at least once a week and checking in to make sure they are OK. You feel like you have a good grip on your relationship. You have continued to be a supportive kind and loving partner to your partner and continued practicing open communication. It's been amazing.
Life has really improved for you and I'm sooo glad

Love
Present-Sabirah

31 day reset- Day 2

I have been putting this off for hours.
and hours.
Here goes
Lifestyle 
Likes - I like my environment and I love being near the water, California is great. I have a small apartment with a communal kitchen. I'm thankful for a safe place to rest my head at night. The neighborhood is really pretty. It's only for a short while so i'm enjoying it for what it is
Dislikes- I hate not having oven use!! it seriously cramps my cooking! ugh. I also wish i ventured out and explored just a little more. and push myself creatively.

Work
Likes- This doesn't really apply since I'm starting a new job tomorrow, I wonder what working in fashion will be like? I guess it will be fun and I'll enjoy it but I'm also thankful it will be temporary, since it's not what I really want to be doing. I will still put my all into it. Getting ready to also relaunch NS later this year so that's exciting!
Dislikes - None yet, I wish i could have found a teaching job or something related but after six weeks of searching time to do what I gotta do.

Education
Likes- I'm proud of my B.A. Degree, I love psychology and taking classes again makes me realize how much I've missed it. I love research and I'd love to do more. But I don't want a master's degree. If I decide to go to grad school I want a Phd and that's another 7years(avg grad time for my programs) of my life, I want to do other things, travel, live in Nigeria(big factor), start a family. sigh
Dislikes: Wish i hadn't let fear stop me from finishing my minor in Italian, I was so close. I wish I understood the American system better before I came, I didnt start benefiting and thriving till I was almost done.

Finances (can I skip?)
Likes- I have no student loan debts! so yaay me
Dislikes- What a mess. I need to create a steady stream of income. multiple really. This hand to mouth isn't pretty, enough said.

Health-
Likes- (physical)I'm so happy that I've taken a no excuses approach to my health, still dieting and working out 5-6 times a week. I feel great
(mental) I'm sooo much better than last year and I've been taking self care very seriously so as not to slip back into that dark place again.
(spiritual) I definitely feels God's love for the first time in my life and believe it. It's quite special.
Dislikes- (physical) Still have bad allergies and i'm not committed to continuous medication, also the asthma symptoms are not all gone.
(mental) Once in a while I slip but it's under control
(spiritual) I need to do more, read more and be more committed to my spiritual journer

Family
Likes - I'm pretty satisfied with my relationship with my mom, living with her the last 6 months was interesting, and I feel closer to her than I ever have.
Dislikes- My Dad who was always the closer one to me had been distant and I confronted him about it which was difficult but a step in the right direction. My brother and I although we are close, haven't had the opportunity to spend lots of time together. I really want us to go to florence together. Or for him to visit California.

Relationships
Likes - I consider myself a great friend to many people and I like that people feel that way. The partner is awesome and distance is teaching us a lot but it's been surprisingly "easy"(easier than i expected)
Dislikes- I've gotten really bad at keeping in touch, everybody is busy now and I fear some relationships will suffer.

Done. this was difficult. I'm worn out and I'll elaborate in my journal...

Day2 done

31 day reset- Day 1

So I'm doing this personal growth challenge that a certain lovely lady proposed to me, @Nerdychique has been a blessing to me in so many ways and I'm thankful for her. I've been on this personal growth kick since April and I've been taking personality tests, asking myself some important questions etc. I even realized that for the first time in my life I can comfortably say I love all of me and I'm am comfortable and secure in the person I am. It's been a while in the works and not an easy journey.

It's time to take this journey a couple of steps further and this couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. The 31 day reset is a month of daily exercises designed to motivate your personal growth in terms of happiness, entrepreneurial spirit, pursuing your passion and much more. So I'm excited. Always looking for ways to become a better version of me.

I invite you to join me and some other ladies here. I might post everyday depending on how I feel about each exercise, If you do decide to do it please let me know! and use the tag #31dayreset if you wish :)

Day 1
Choose your Reset Notebook

Sorry, Shitty Webcam photo

I chose this book because 1) I submitted my for real journal to my psych class, I might actually end up using that one, still undecided.

But I chose this book cos my mom hand wrote a bunch of prayers and daily devotionals for me when I was coming here, It was such notice but she filled it almost halfway. I think it's the sweetest thing ever. Isn't her handwriting pretty?

Choose your personal Mantra

"Live in truth, not in Fear. Love is you"

I chose this as my mantra because well the first part has always been my mantra, actually planned to tattoo it on the insides of my wrists last summer and I still might. It means A LOT to me. The second part is to remind myself to be an example of Love in all I do.

Choose a theme Song

Beautiful flower - India Arie. I simply like the message. Beautiful, brilliant, resilient, powerful. All that I am and want to be :)

Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield. Listen to it. you'll understand :) siiiigh. 

So that's it. 

Will you be joining in?

Love, 

Sabirah

Dream Jobs, contests and more dreams

Hi!

Wow! Overwhelming response on my last post, I was pleasantly surprised and had no idea it would touch so many people. I'm truly grateful for everyone who read it, thought it was good enough to share and passed it on. Thank you, It means a lot.

So today's business! I saw this amazing contest on Modcloth and I just had to enter, I'm not really big on contests but this one looked like so much fun, and I already have and love Pinterest so I thought why not?

So I set about creating a board that reflected my dream job... Only problem was, I don't really have one, I was only stuck for a few moments and while thinking about it I tweeted this- "Still don't know what my dream job is or if it exists, but I know the random mish mash of things that make me happy and that's OK :)” This comforted me while I tried to figure out what to put up.

I know that I'm highly creative, I know that I'm a helper, I love to learn and I love the study of the human mind. I know that I'd like to make a difference where it matters. Under these broad descriptions I could do a variety of things and I'm sure I have so much more to explore. I also know that it's important you do something you enjoy and are good at. While the idea of not having a box to place myself in scares me a bit, it also greatly excites me.

For the competition I narrowed it down to teaching and being the creative director for my brand Natural Saturdays. It was so much fun creating the board just as I expected. What I didn't expect was all the reflection it made me do. I'm glad. I keep getting inspired by the oddest things!

Here's a snapshot of my entry

If you'd like to see the pictures in higher quality and read my reflections (blurbs) on my "dream job" you can view the full entry here

So do you have a job/career suggestion for me?

How about you? Do you have a dream job?

Tell me in the comments even if it's "silly"

Love,

Sabirah.

On Intimacy

What does it mean to be intimate with someone?
What does it feel like? How do you know and how do you get there?
People often describe intimacy in terms of the physical which I believe is so limited. For me intimacy is defined way beyond the physical. It represents a true private, personal, close connection that comes about from sharing a unique bond, a deep sort of friendship. I'm still learning about what it entails but I feel like I have struck gold.

A while back my partner and I were having a conversation about what makes relationships special- I think it's what first made us both start talking about what intimacy meant to us both. There were a lot of things that had to happen before we were that comfortable. The most important thing I think was opening ourselves up to vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is a scary thing. It's opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt and most people would rather not go through that, but there's also so much power in vulnerability, if you shield yourself from the the probability of hurt you also shield yourself from experiencing a powerful bond with another human being. We had both experienced hurt in different dimensions so making a decision to be honest and transparent toward each other wasn't easy and we had a lot of rocky moments where our trust for one another was shaky. As we continued to slowly build our trust in each other we were able to be more vulnerable.

I can't say the moment in which it changed but I can tell you that the first time I felt truly intimate with my partner was one day when I had a huge problem. I was at my wits end and completely lost as to what to do. As I had the courage to tell him what had happened, he quietly said "let's pray". At that point I was already in tears and even if I wanted to protest I couldn't. He began to pray and I was truly moved, because every word that came out of his mouth sounded like it was coming out of my heart. It's a moment i'll never forget for the rest of my life.

The second time was walking into church one Sunday, we were walking in front of my mum, hands linked. I'm not sure if I've talked about my spirituality here before (post for another day maybe) but mostly I've had a rather shaky journey and to me it was such a big deal for someone not only to allow me to grow in my own pace but also be concerned and offer help along the way. I guess it was all symbolic.

I've watched my parents find intimacy again and it's just beautiful. I saw them watching television on mute one day, sitting on the couch holding hands, I knew in that moment they were connected to each other, I quietly left the room and I'm sure they didn't notice. Their relationship has been a difficult one, but somehow they are finding what they once lost.

It's one of my favorite things about relationships (everything I've said and I'm saying can be applied to non-romantic relationships, just using mine as an example). Intimacy seems to be lost in a lot of relationships these days, since I've only recently discovered it I can't really give many pointers, but its so powerful, it's the thing that still makes me feel so close when I'm over 10,000km away. I'll say this though; be honest, be honest about what you want and who you are, don't be afraid to let it all show, be honest about your fears, your dreams, even the silly ones. Be true to the person you are.



Love always,
Sabirah

Living on the Edge

The title is very literal.
On Saturday my darling friend Seyi and I decided to enjoy some California Sun, sand and water. Little did we know the adventure that lay ahead.

We set out to Santa Cruz since we wanted a change from San Francisco beaches. We drove all the way, through the windy mountains, reached our destination and then realized we didn't want to be there. See Santa Cruz is your typical beach town, boardwalk with rides, candyfloss, beach boys, naked girls, a nice dose of hippies, basically lots of "characters". And Seyi and I were just looking for peace from a long week.

We were stuck, it was already 3:30 we couldn't go back to SF. Seyi then had a crazy idea,
"Why don't we just drive on highway 1, it's on the coast anyway and we'll just make a turning where we see an open road..." I gave her a crazed side eye and said nothing.
We had barely driven 5mins and she turned into what looked like farmland to me. she promised she saw water beyond... and so we began to walk...

Crossed some railway tracks, I was excited, still a little skeptical, this is how horror movies start

A teaser! water!! we were so excited till we realized there was no way for us to descend the cliff :(

So I fooled around a bit

And then the exciting part! we started walking along the cliff edges! it was exhilarating, scary, dangerous amazing

And the view! Amazing!! I don't know how many feet above we were maybe 200ft? crazy

At this point there were signs "Danger unstable cliff" Seyi inched closer, crazy!

you can tell we're really close here, it doesn't look that far down but it was. the crash of the water on the rocks! wonderful

Finally a not-too-steep descent

After 40mins of walking we were glad to find this path, albeit windy and steep

Spooky! we made it!

Spooky caves were the sounds of the waves echoed, of course we were the only ones here

Happiness

Relaxation time (check out my naija flip flops :D)

The long walk home

It was an amazing day and getaway, I felt sooo rejuvenated. It was just the pick-me-up I needed. Thank you Seyi, for an amazing day. We truly had the best YOLO moments :*

ps- all photos courtesy Seyi's iphone

Hope you enjoyed!